Trump lost

Trump Demands Pence Be Investigated For Not Letting Himself Be Hanged by MAGA Supporters

FARTS-A-LOT-THO, FLORIDA -- Taking in a second buffet lunch of the day so far,  former one term, twice permanently impeached, defeated President Donald Trump told diners at his Florida luxury resort that he was "immediately sending, in a very...

Jim Jordan Won’t Admit the Election Wasn’t Stolen or That Trump’s Balls Don’t Taste Like Candy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are few in Congress more fiercely loyal to former President Don Trump than Rep. Gym Jordan (Q-OH). Jordan's devotion to Trump is so complete that even now, nine months after Joe Biden was sworn in, and...

Local Fuckface Still Crying and Lying About Losing

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Residents of America's Dong State are probably used to hosting all sorts of con men, liars, racists, and general fuckfaces. It's hard to throw a rock in this country and not hit a story about...

Doctors: Dating Someone Who Believes in Stolen Elections Leads to Permanent Vaginal Dryness

Doctors around the country are sounding the alarm, trying to warn single women of a health risk that the medical community is just becoming aware of. According to a new study published in The American Journal of Science Stuff, dating someone who...

Barr Was So Angered by Trump’s Election Lies He Almost Regretted All the Lies He Told for Trump

Americans who believed that former Attorney General William Barr was not much more than a bought-and-paid-for "yes" man, a living, breathing legal rubber stamp, willing to defend and give cover to any idea that his boss had, had good...

DeSantis Signs Law Banning Democracy

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA -- Citing a need for "election security and integrity," Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q) signed a law today banning all forms of democracy. "First of off -- we're not a democracy. We're a democratic republic, which is most...

No Matter What Lamestream Media Says, Man Will Believe the Election Was Stolen and Earth is Flat

FUCKFACE RIVER, IDAHO -- If a mainstream news outlet says something, 43 year old Jesse Keeley does not believe it, and in fact will, in his own words, "usually assume the total opposite is true." "That's why back in the...

Experts Warn the Next Republican Coup Attempt Could Be a Lot Less Stupid

What would happen if there was a coup attempted by one political party in the United States of America after, imagine, they lost the presidency and decided to just keep it by force? For many years, scholars and experts...

Hannity Says Trump Is ‘Still the Manliest Sore Loser Cry Baby Bitch’ He’s Ever Known

With each passing day, President Donald Trump's time in office grows shorter. It started with Election Day, then continued through several recounts. Then, Trump or those supporting his campaign filed -- and lost -- more than 50 lawsuits attempting...

Last Week, Ted Cruz Met With Trump’s Balls for a Supreme Court Argument Strategy Sesh

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Supreme Court of the United States will not hear the suit brought by the Attorney General of Texas against four swing states, and effectively that ends Trump's attempts to steal the election in the courtroom....
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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