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Tomi Lahren

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
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Conservative Media

Scientists Of Oz Baffled That Tomi Lahren Not Melted By Glass Of Thrown Water

THE MERRY OLD LAND OF OZ -- With a ha-ha-ha, a ho-ho-ho, and a...
Conservative Media

Fox News: Tibia Lahren Uniquely Qualified To Identify Lazy, Low-Skilled People

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Last week, White House Chief of Staff John Kelly gave...
Conservative Media

Bitch Kicks Dog

Over the span of her relatively short career, right-wing firebrand commentator and Nazi Barbie...
Conservative Media

Tomi Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren...
Conservative Media

Tomi Lahren Says The Wakanda Forever Hashtag Is ‘Just Like The KKK’

VALLE DE PUTANA RACISTA, CALIFORNIA -- Today right-wing firebrand commentator Tinseltown Lahren told listeners...
Conservative Media

Tomi Lahren Watched Trump’s Access Hollywood Tape Instead Of The ‘Godless Sexual Deviants’ On The Oscars

VAPID TWUNT, TEXAS -- This morning, right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tabasco...
Conservative Media

Lahren Will Be On Super Bowl LII Field Before Kickoff, Holding Gun To Players’ Heads So They Stand For Anthem

Are you ready for some forced nationalissssssssssssssmmmmmmmm?!
Conservative Media

Fox Sending Tomi Lahren To North Korea To Ask Kim Jong Un For Tips On Forced Patriotism

Fox News is shipping its most plucky and screech-a-rific contributor to North Korea so she can pick Un's brain about despotic patriotism.
Science & Medicine

Pharmaceutical Company Develops Screechitol, World’s First Auditory Contraceptive

PharmTek Incorporated, a subsidiary of Galactic Chemical Enterprises, announced a new contraceptive they've been...
Conservative Media

Black Man Tying Shoes Sends Tammy Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren are confirming at...
Science & Medicine

Tomi Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, TEXAS -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren...
Conservative Media

T-Bone Lahren Wants President of Carolinas To Forbid Sale Of Panthers To P-Diddy

SIN CEREBRO, TEXAS -- Timpani Lahren, the feisty blonde conservative commentator and Fox News...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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