Texas

Humor/Satire

Trump Tweets Sincere Condolences For Shooting At Columbine

James Schlarmann -
"His base knows he's gonna shoot before aiming, or even really getting the gun out of its holster."
Humor/Satire

Jesus Christ to Americans: “Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Made of Kevlar”

James Schlarmann -
"They aren't going to stop anything, least of which being a high-speed projectile fired at terminal velocity."
Humor/Satire

Mexico Asks Trump to Pay for Northern Border Wall to Keep American Mass Shooters Out

James Schlarmann -
"When the United States issues guns, it's not giving them to their best."
Humor/Satire

Obama Offers to Loan Jade Helm Commando Unit to Texas for Harvey Cleanup and Rescue Operations

James Schlarmann -
In Texas, are they so desperate for help in the cleanup and rescue efforts in the wake of Hurricane Harvey that they'd take it from Obama?
Humor/Satire

Ted Cruz To Propose Changing The Spelling of ‘Science’ to ‘J-E-S-U-S’

James Schlarmann -
Ted Cruz is the new chair of the Senate committee that handles science and space research, policy and budgeting, and his proposed law will make quite the splash.
Humor/Satire

California Democrats Mull Law Allowing Texas Christians to Be Denied Adoptions

James Schlarmann -
In response to an anti-LGBT adoption law being pushed through the Texas legislature, California Democrats propose their own adoption bill.
Humor/Satire

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Served Vaginal Eviction Notice

James Schlarmann -
Greg Abbott is served papers.
Humor/Satire

Texas Republican Invents Shrinking Ray to ‘Make Government So Small It Fits In Your Pee-Hole’

James Schlarmann -
Republicans in Texas are enlisting science in the name of shrinking government.
Humor/Satire

Local Republican Proposes City-Wide Genital Registration Program

James Schlarmann -
This Republican has a unique idea for calming down trans-bathroom panic.
Humor/Satire

Proud Gun Owner Mom in Tense Mexican Standoff With 3rd Grader

James Schlarmann -
A woman and her young child are in a Mexican Standoff over snack time.
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Humor/SatireJames Schlarmann -

Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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(All Content is Satirical)