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I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....
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I’m in Florida. My Cousin’s in Tennessee. We’re Moving to TX to Protect Our Baby From Groomers.

The following editorial was submitted by Eddie Pesghetti, a 35 year old resident of...

Jesus Warns His Trans Little Children to ‘Stay the Fuck Away’ From the Bible Belt

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway, and...

Pat Robertson: God Will Warm Texas If He Stops Watching “Magic Mike” for Research Purposes Twelve Times a Week

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Living fossil and televangelist Pat Robertson often speaks to God...

Failing Capitalist State Still Struggling to Provide Heat and Power to Millions

THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC OF TEXAS  -- In the failed capitalist state of Texas, millions...

Cold Texas Temperatures Signal It’s Time for Dodos to Fly South to Cancun

As it gets colder in the Lone Star State, its dodo population starts to...

Oklahoma Man Extradited to Texas After Being Caught Spanking It in Dallas

GILEAD COUNTY, TEXAS -- Officials with the Texas State Sex Fluid and Biomatter Protection...

“Small Government” Governor Dictates to Private Companies What They Can Do About COVID-19

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- "Herp derp! Me small government conservative! Me hate socialism! Me want...

Texas Woman Files for Joint Custody Over Boyfriend’s Sperm

BAWSAK, TEXAS -- When Gov. Greg Abbot (Q-Gilead) signed SB8 into law, many wondered...

TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For Getting Abortion

SHITLIP, TEXAS -- Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before,...

Bleach and Coat Hangers Sold Out in 65% of Texas Counties

In well over half of the counties in Texas, consumers won't be able to...

I’m From Texas. Can I Write Off My Sperm as Dependents Now?

Last week, when the Supreme Court effectively let a ban on abortions after the...

Texas Woman Files Paperwork to Reclassify Her Genitals as a Firearm

LIBTERTAD de CUERPA, TEXAS -- Next week, a court in Texas will hear opening...

Latest articles

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....

I’m So Grateful Elon Rescued Twitter from Overly Political Owners So He Can Help Trump Win!

The following editorial was written and submitted by Dustin Pewpsin, a Republican strategist working...

I’m a Single Issue Voter, and It’s Enabling Right-Wing Authoritarians If I Don’t Get My Way

The following piece was submitted to us by reader Gary Neophite, who describes himself...