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Ted Cruz

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
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Senate Republicans Fear Dems Will Smear Amy Coney Barrett With Her Own Actions, Words, and Religious Beliefs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Next week, the Senate Judiciary Committee, under chairmanship from Sen. Lindsey...

Cruz: “The Senate Must Fill Ginsburg’s Seat and Secure a Permanent Majority for the Overwhelming Minority”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Unsurprisingly, Congressional Republicans have been giving interviews and making social media...

Cruz: “The Biden Rule Only Applies to Black Democrat Presidents”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If one goes looking for the so-called "Biden Rule" in the...

Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a Lifetime Appointment”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scholars of American history perhaps have never answered the question before,...

Ron Perlman Offers to Cast Ted Cruz In “Go To Hell, Boy”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Actor Ron Perlman has reportedly reached out to a Republican senator...

Coronavirus Qurantines Itself From Ted Cruz

TEXAS -- A spokesperson for the novel coronavirus issued a statement this morning announcing...

Ted Cruz: “The Democrats Just Learned You Can’t Impeach a Monarch in a Coronation Year”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It was never any big secret on the Hill. President Donald...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted...

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned about the rapid...

Ted Cruz: “If I Wasn’t a Smarmy, Partisan Cunt Maybe I’d Care About Trump Being a Lawless Asshole Tyrant”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a wild and unforeseen development, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump's Urethra)...

During Impeachment Q&A Cruz Asks: “Isn’t Trump As Innocent As My Wife Is Ugly?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The question of whether or not to call additional witnesses during...

Cruz: “You Know What? My Wife is an Ugly She-Beast. My Dad Did Try to Kill JFK. Trump Is Totally Innocent.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's highly likely that no one on the Hill has been...

Latest articles

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...