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Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz
Tech
You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck
The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
April 24, 2024
Arts & Entertainment
A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me
Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
April 19, 2024
U.S. Politics
Senate Republicans Fear Dems Will Smear Amy Coney Barrett With Her Own Actions, Words, and Religious Beliefs
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Next week, the Senate Judiciary Committee, under chairmanship from Sen. Lindsey...
October 7, 2020
U.S. Politics
Cruz: “The Senate Must Fill Ginsburg’s Seat and Secure a Permanent Majority for the Overwhelming Minority”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Unsurprisingly, Congressional Republicans have been giving interviews and making social media...
September 23, 2020
U.S. Politics
Cruz: “The Biden Rule Only Applies to Black Democrat Presidents”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If one goes looking for the so-called "Biden Rule" in the...
September 21, 2020
MAGA News
Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a Lifetime Appointment”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scholars of American history perhaps have never answered the question before,...
September 10, 2020
Arts & Entertainment
Ron Perlman Offers to Cast Ted Cruz In “Go To Hell, Boy”
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Actor Ron Perlman has reportedly reached out to a Republican senator...
June 16, 2020
Science & Medicine
Coronavirus Qurantines Itself From Ted Cruz
TEXAS -- A spokesperson for the novel coronavirus issued a statement this morning announcing...
March 9, 2020
U.S. Politics
Ted Cruz: “The Democrats Just Learned You Can’t Impeach a Monarch in a Coronation Year”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It was never any big secret on the Hill. President Donald...
February 7, 2020
MAGA News
Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted...
February 1, 2020
MAGA News
Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican
Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned about the rapid...
January 31, 2020
MAGA News
Ted Cruz: “If I Wasn’t a Smarmy, Partisan Cunt Maybe I’d Care About Trump Being a Lawless Asshole Tyrant”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a wild and unforeseen development, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump's Urethra)...
January 30, 2020
Criminal Justice
During Impeachment Q&A Cruz Asks: “Isn’t Trump As Innocent As My Wife Is Ugly?”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The question of whether or not to call additional witnesses during...
January 29, 2020
MAGA News
Cruz: “You Know What? My Wife is an Ugly She-Beast. My Dad Did Try to Kill JFK. Trump Is Totally Innocent.”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's highly likely that no one on the Hill has been...
January 23, 2020
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Latest articles
Tech
You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck
The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
April 24, 2024
Arts & Entertainment
A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me
Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
April 19, 2024
Criminal Justice
Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials
"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
April 17, 2024
Women's Rights
The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus
"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
April 12, 2024
