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Ted Cruz

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't...

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring...
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Paul Ryan Says He Practiced ‘Smug, Punchable’ Face for Weeks Before SOTU

Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly practiced his SOTU facial expressions or weeks.

Nation Prepares to ‘Give a F**k’ About New New Hampshirite Political Opinions

The New Hampshire primaries are in full-swing, which means the nation is pretending to care about the Granite State.

U.S. Capitalist Economy, Pummeled by Obama’s Communism, Gains 290k+ Jobs in December

The December 2015 Jobs report is out, and it has Republicans worried that Obama's communism will never be contained.

5 Reasons I’m Pretty Sure Ted Cruz’s Dick Smells Like Fried Snack Pies

I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz has a thing for fried pies. A gross thing.

Ted Cruz Backs Constitutional Amendment Repealing Women’s Suffrage

Ted Cruz feels the only way to get Roe v. Wade off the books is to get women out of politics, literally.

We Asked These 2016 Presidential Candidates What They Wanted for Christmas

Find out what your favorite candidate wants for Christmas here!

Town Republican Has Figured Out How to Vote for Trump and Not Hate Himself

One man has figured out how to vote for Donald Trump and not compromise his scruples.

Marco Rubio: I Would Bomb More Children Than Cruz

Marco Rubio tells a rally crowd he'd bomb way more kids than Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz Proposes ‘Separate But Equal’ Muslim-Only Constitution

Ted Cruz wants a new Constitution for Muslims only.

Another Republican Debate Drinking Game

This Republican Debate Drinking Game is like none other, we promise you that.

CNN Constructs Silo to Store GOP Debate Bullshit

Ahead of tomorrow night's GOP Debate, CNN has taken big steps to prevent toxic bullshit seepage.

Ted Cruz Wants to Replace Donald Trump as the GOP’s Leading Douche

Senator Ted Cruz really hopes Republican voters think he's douchier than Donald Trump.

Latest articles

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't...

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring...

What If Trump Uses Ivanka’s OnlyFans to Payoff His Rape, Defamation, and Fraud Fines?

"...it turns out Eric Trump  spent all his money this week on magic beans...

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...