Tag: Ted Cruz

Ron Perlman Offers to Cast Ted Cruz In “Go To Hell, Boy”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — Actor Ron Perlman has reportedly reached out to a Republican senator ...

Coronavirus Qurantines Itself From Ted Cruz

TEXAS — A spokesperson for the novel coronavirus issued a statement this morning announcing ...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted ...

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned about the rapid ...

Cruz: “Democrats Are Waging a Partisan Attack On Our Partisan Acquittal After our Partisan Trial”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Zodiac Cruz (R-Trump’s Rectal Cavity) lashed out at Congressional Democrats ...

Rosie Defends Tweets To Corker, Collins As “Alternative Lobbying”

Rosie O’Donnell ignited a firestorm of criticism and controversy among the American right-wing of ...

Ted Cruz Single-Handedly Ruins Porn for Everyone

When Ted Cruz liked a pornographic tweet from his official Twitter account this week, ...