Tag: Ted Cruz
Ron Perlman Offers to Cast Ted Cruz In “Go To Hell, Boy”
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA — Actor Ron Perlman has reportedly reached out to a Republican senator ...
Coronavirus Qurantines Itself From Ted Cruz
TEXAS — A spokesperson for the novel coronavirus issued a statement this morning announcing ...
Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted ...
Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican
Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned about the rapid ...
Cruz: “Democrats Are Waging a Partisan Attack On Our Partisan Acquittal After our Partisan Trial”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Zodiac Cruz (R-Trump’s Rectal Cavity) lashed out at Congressional Democrats ...
Ted Cruz Vigorously Defends Donald Trump on “Meet The Press” for No Reason in Particular
DOUCHEBAG RANCH, TEXAS — Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), forcefully defended President Donald Trump on ...
Ted Cruz Offers to Lube Up and F_ _k a Gun to Show How Safe They Are
WASHINGTON, D.C. — So far in 2019, CBS News reports that there have been ...
Rosie Defends Tweets To Corker, Collins As “Alternative Lobbying”
Rosie O’Donnell ignited a firestorm of criticism and controversy among the American right-wing of ...
Ted Cruz Sends Trump Zodiac Symbols and Warning: “Do Not Release Those JFK Files”
"There could be very stiff, very swift consequences."
Ted Cruz Single-Handedly Ruins Porn for Everyone
When Ted Cruz liked a pornographic tweet from his official Twitter account this week, ...
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