Supreme Court

Projections Show U.S. Could Fund Medicare For All For 400 Years Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the findings of an intensive report they conducted, and have concluded that the United States could "pretty easily" fund a universal healthcare program for 400 years just by charging...

Scores Of Women Demanding Susan Collins Turn In Her Vadge

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The office of Senator Susan Collins is confirming at the time of publication that is being inundated with demands from women all over the planet to "turn in her vadge," one aide said. "Like when the police...

Trump Offers Last Minute Compromise: Replace Kavanaugh With Bill Cosby

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Offering to "help two sexual predators with one stone," President Donald Trump told Democrats today that he'd be willing to rescind Brett Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court, but only if they'd be amenable to confirming...

Kavanaugh Assures Senate He Only Thinks One Particular Orange Shit Clown President Is Above The Law, Not All Of Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Brett Kavanaugh, a political operative turned D.C. appeals circuit judge, has been nominated by President Donald Trump to succeed retiring Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, but despite the potential for conflicts of interest, Judge Kavanaugh says...

Trump Calls SCOTUS Pick To Ensure They’ll Fix His Parking Tickets and/or Obstructions of Justice and/or Treasons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has reportedly made up his mind about who he will nominate to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, but that he made one final call to whomever it is, making sure of...

Trump Releases Updated List Of Potential Replacements for Justice Kennedy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump has been teasing the American public with small glimpses into the process his administration has undertaken in their effort to find a replacement for outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy. Today, the White House took...

Klansmen Already Lined Up Around Supreme Court Building Wanting To Apply For Kennedy’s Seat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Within moments of Justice Anthony Kennedy announcing his retirement at the end of July, there were dozens of klansmen lining up around the Supreme Court wanting to apply for his position, and several more have been...

Priebus Warns Trump His Tweets Can Be Read By Supreme Court Justices Too

President Trump may not quite understand how Twitter works. Then again he's still figuring out how the toilet works.

Gorsuch Says He’s ‘Honored and Humbled’ To Have The ‘Full Faith and Confidence’ of the Kremlin

Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch told reporters that he is happy to be trusted by both of the presidents who had a hand in his selection.

Neil Gorsuch Promises To Interpret The Constitution ‘Fairly, For Corporate Citizens, Big and Small’

Newly minted Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch told reporters he's going to interpret laws in ways the look out for big and little corporate guys.
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Local Domestic Terrorist Really Wants You To See Hunter Biden’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) recently told reporters in the nation's capitol she's "outraged and incensed"...
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