Supreme Court

Last Week, Ted Cruz Met With Trump’s Balls for a Supreme Court Argument Strategy Sesh

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Supreme Court of the United States will not hear the suit brought by the Attorney General of Texas against four swing states, and effectively that ends Trump's attempts to steal the election in the courtroom....

Justice Barrett Gets Permission from Husband to Start First Day on Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All the hearings had been held. All the votes, for and against her confirmation had been cast. Her oaths had been administered, and by this morning Amy Coney Barrett had been sworn-in and officially installed by...

Cruz: “The Senate Must Fill Ginsburg’s Seat and Secure a Permanent Majority for the Overwhelming Minority”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Unsurprisingly, Congressional Republicans have been giving interviews and making social media posts supporting President Donald Trump nominating a replacement for the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Justice Ginsburg died last week after serving more...

Taliban Endorses Judge Amy Coney Barrett for Supreme Court Justice

AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban have issued the following statement, in their words "fully and completely endorsing fellow Religious Zealot" Judge Amy Coney Barrett to replace the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the United States Supreme Court. The Taliban statement...

UPDATE: Mitch McConnell Still a Certifiably Racist, Wet-Eyed, Wattle-Necked Cuntsicle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In our continuing endeavor to provide our readers with the most current, up to date news and events worthy of their attention, The Political Garbage Chute can confirm at this hour that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Moscow)...

Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a Lifetime Appointment”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scholars of American history perhaps have never answered the question before, but certainly there's never been a need to before the current man in the Oval Office started his presidency. Regardless, in the last four years...

Ginsburg: “Cancer Can’t Make Me Resign Until It Leaves The White House First”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2019, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg underwent three weeks of medical treatment for pancreatic cancer. Now, it seems her cancer has returned, according to her recent statement. MORE: Hannity, Ingraham, Bongino, Hitler Support Feds’ Crackdown...

Biden Offers to Let Obama Have First SCOTUS Pick as a “McConnell Mulligan”

Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and former Vice President Joe Biden has, by all accounts, quite a strong relationship with his former boss. The bond between biden and former President Barack Obama is undeniable, and comes across as a natural...

Pat Robertson Blames Coronavirus on 2015 Supreme Court Gay Marriage Decision

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- The United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality almost five years ago, and it's taken that long for God to "clear His backlog of mortal sins punishable by mass death," televangelist Pat...

Ben Shapiro Just Really Wants to See Justice Kavanaugh’s Dick, Okay?

Dear Brett Kavanaugh, Ben Shapiro just wants to see your dick, okay? For the good of the country, sure, but really for the good of Ben's own shaky nerves. You see, Mr. Ben doesn't think it's possible that you could...
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Local Domestic Terrorist Really Wants You To See Hunter Biden’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) recently told reporters in the nation's capitol she's "outraged and incensed"...
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