Space Force

Biden Asks Greene for Input on Space Force Laser Project

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden announced today that Space Force will begin work soon on a new missile defense system, and he wants to get help in its design phase from, perhaps, an unlikely source. "I called up Margarine...

Biden Tells Space Force to Stop Pointing Telescope at Ivanka’s Bedroom

President Joe Biden ordered Space Force to "immediately reposition" a massive telescope  miles away from the Earth's orbit and point it away from the bedroom of former First Lady Ivanka Trump. President Biden addressed the order aboard Air Force...

Biden Directs Space Force to Stop Its ‘McDonald’s on the Moon’ Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Space Force will no longer be developing a plan to install a McDonald's fast food franchise on Earth's moon. This new development came this morning, as President Joe Biden announced that he would be ending Space...

Space Force Releases Initial Cost Estimate to Yeet Matt Gaetz Into The Sun

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States Space Force released a study this week that attempts to estimate how much it would cost to yeet Qongressman Matt Gaetz into the sun. "According to our calculations, it would cost us upwards of...

Paramount Alleges Trademark Infringement Against Space Force

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy ripoff" of the emblem that has been used as a trademark for the Star Trek franchise for...

Paramount Sues Space Force for Trademark Infringement

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy ripoff" of the emblem that has been used as a trademark for the Star Trek franchise for...

Trump: Space Force Converting the Moon Into a Death Star

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Having consolidated his power after the Battle of Mueller, once Supreme Chancellor Trump has taken on the self-titled mantle of Emperor, and has announced that his mighty Space Force is already carrying out a new order...

Trump: Space Force Will Build Space Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a radio interview on WKKK-FM, Donald Trump Jr. accidentally let slip that his father, President Donald Trump, is in the process of directing his newly minted Space Force to begin construction a great space wall. “Diddums...

Trump Orders Space Force to Investigate Allegations of Biden’s Neptune-ism

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's officially a branch of the U.S. Armed Forces, President Donald Trump's first assignment for his Space Force is one that might be more traditionally handled by the FBI. No stranger to using unusual channels...

Trump: Space Force Will Put Base on Shared Earth/Mars Moon

AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- Flying back across the Atlantic to Washington, D.C. after participating in ceremonies honoring the 7th Anniversary of D-Day , President. Trump told reporters he has decided to order his Space Force to begin construction of...
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George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to his freshman year in the House of Representatives. Before...
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