WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden announced today that Space Force will begin work soon on a new missile defense system, and he wants to get help in its design phase from, perhaps, an unlikely source.
"I called up Margarine...
President Joe Biden ordered Space Force to "immediately reposition" a massive telescope miles away from the Earth's orbit and point it away from the bedroom of former First Lady Ivanka Trump. President Biden addressed the order aboard Air Force...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Space Force will no longer be developing a plan to install a McDonald's fast food franchise on Earth's moon. This new development came this morning, as President Joe Biden announced that he would be ending Space...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States Space Force released a study this week that attempts to estimate how much it would cost to yeet Qongressman Matt Gaetz into the sun.
"According to our calculations, it would cost us upwards of...
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy ripoff" of the emblem that has been used as a trademark for the Star Trek franchise for...
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy ripoff" of the emblem that has been used as a trademark for the Star Trek franchise for...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Having consolidated his power after the Battle of Mueller, once Supreme Chancellor Trump has taken on the self-titled mantle of Emperor, and has announced that his mighty Space Force is already carrying out a new order...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a radio interview on WKKK-FM, Donald Trump Jr. accidentally let slip that his father, President Donald Trump, is in the process of directing his newly minted Space Force to begin construction a great space wall.
“Diddums...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's officially a branch of the U.S. Armed Forces, President Donald Trump's first assignment for his Space Force is one that might be more traditionally handled by the FBI. No stranger to using unusual channels...
AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- Flying back across the Atlantic to Washington, D.C. after participating in ceremonies honoring the 7th Anniversary of D-Day , President. Trump told reporters he has decided to order his Space Force to begin construction of...
