Sewer Security Guard Apologizes for Allowing Two Turds to Escape and Get Elected to Congress

FECALBERGH, PENNSYLVANIA -- At a hastily thrown together press event this afternoon, 46 year old sewer security guard Mal Starkey issued a heartfelt, sincere apology, and promised he'd "do everything in power" to rectify the situation. "If I had...
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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