Senate Republicans

Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

Today, kids all across America are off from school, banks are closed, and the mail isn't running because it's a federal holiday. Today is the day that Americans celebrate the time-honored tradition of sucking off insurrectionist former presidents throughout...

Hawley: “The Democrats Are Really Terrified We’re Going to Impeach Hunter Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For Freshman Senator Josh Hawley's (R-MO), Rep. Adam Schiff and the rest of the House impeachment managers have not made a strong enough case to convict and remove President Donald John Trump from office. Despite Schiff and...

Corker Says He’s ‘Not a Fan of the Taste of Trump’s Dick’ Anymore

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The war of words between two very powerful Republicans in the nation's capital has heated to a boiling point. This morning, in a series of tweets, President Donald Trump assailed Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee. Corker...

A Quick Reference Guide to the Senate Republicans’ Formerly Secret Healthcare Plan

A view of the proposed changes within the secretive Republican healthcare plan from a 50,000 foot level.

EXCLUSIVE LOOK! Leaked Details of GOP’s Top Secret Obamacare Replacement Bill

Republicans have been writing their replacement for Obamacare in secret. But initial details of the law they're drafting have just been leaked.

Sen. John McCain, Lindsey Graham Threaten to Wag Their Fingers ‘Super Duper Hard’ At Trump This Time

McCain and Graham are not happy with how the president is behaving, and they're almost willing to do something real about it.

Neil Gorsuch Will Honor His Hero By Plagiarizing His First Supreme Court Opinion From Justice Scalia

Soon Judge Neil Gorsuch will be confirmed to the Supreme Court bench. He will honor his predecessor and mentor by copying his best work.

Merrick Garland Sends Neil Gorsuch Card Congratulating Him On Being Filibustered for the Supreme Court

Merrick Garland saw the filibuster of Neil Gorsuch as a milestone worthy of congratulations, and he sent the man who could get his seat a card.

Obama Offers to Trade SCOTUS Pick for Second Amendment

Obama reportedly has an offer for Mitch McConnell on his SCOTUS nomination.

Ted Cruz/Mitch McConnell Announce Plan to ‘F**k It Out’

Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell may not like each other, but will that doesn't mean they can't bury the hatchet in a very sexy way.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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