Second Amendment

The Second Amendment Clearly Doesn’t Apply to People Whose Genitals I Haven’t Seen

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and podcaster Dustin Pewpsin. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily those of this outlet or staff. Every American patriot knows that there is one...

NRA Congratulates California on Two Mass Shootings in Two Days

This week, California saw to two deadly mass shootings in two consecutive days. They mark the 38th and 39th mass shootings this year, though there have been fewer than thirty days that have elapsed thus far. In response to the...

Condolences Overwhelmed Rep. Thomas Massie’s Office After He Publicized His Micro-Penis

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Thomas Massie (Q-KY) is being cheered by his colleagues on both sides of the aisle, a rare feat these days. Both Republicans and Democrats are giving Massie a thumbs-up for the courage it took for...

Michigan High School Hosts America’s Most Recent Mass Second Amendment Demonstration

OXFORD, MICHIGAN -- Three students are dead, and six others have been injured in America's latest Second Amendment Demonstration. Authorities say the 15-year-old organizer and lead activist in yesterday's demonstration has been taken into custody, but because they are...

Boebert: “Americans Don’t Need Vaccines Because The Second Amendment Already Protects Them”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) told a group of pro-MAGA political donors at a prayer breakfast this morning that she thinks getting a COVID-19 vaccine is a "personal choice" and that efforts put in by the Biden...

Boebert Grateful the ‘Gun Amendment is Second,’ Because If It Were Higher She Couldn’t Find It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) told a group of gun manufacturer lobbyists this week that she "loves guns" and that while she's in office she will "do everything and anything" to help the NRA and similar...

Gov. Signs Law Forcing FBI to Give Every Missourian a Semiautomatic Rifle

JEFFERSON CITY, MISSOURI -- Governor Mike Parson (Q) just signed a bill into law that requires the Federal Bureau of Investigations to offer a free semiautomatic rifle to every resident of the Show Me State. The FBI has been...

ISIS Agrees With Matt Gaetz: Murdering Americans is Okay

Last night at a rally in Georgia with fellow Republican Congresswoman and Qu Qlux Qlan co-founder Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz implied that angry conservative Americans should take up arms against social media companies for being mean to...

Thoughts and Prayers Stop Next Mass Shooter Just Before He Pulls the Trigger

COUSINLOVER, ALABAMA -- Some are calling it a "miracle." Others are calling it a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. However one chooses to describe it, however, the fact remains that a mass shooting event in Alabama was halted today when some thoughts...

Ted Cruz: “We Can’t Do Something About Gun Violence Until We’re Done Doing Nothing”

Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-TX) doesn't want to do anything about gun violence until the country is done doing nothing about it first.
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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