Satire

MAGA Boy: “My Family Didn’t Come Here from Europe to Let No Immigrants In!”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest edition of his podcast, right-wing YouTube star and alt-right country music sensation Jethro Bohiggins said that he is "sick and goddamned tired" of President Trump's "white America First agenda" being overshadowed...

Lindsey Graham ‘Warming Up’ To Taste Of Trump’s Rectum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Throughout the 2016 presidential election season, Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was one of the loudest, most outspoken critics of then-candidate Donald Trump. However, since Trump's inauguration, many people around the capital -- and indeed the nation...

Trump Gets Terrible Case of Freedom Gas and Blames Farts On Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump ate "way, way, way too many chilli dogs" this morning while tweeting during his executive time, and as such has come down with a case of Freedom Gas. Reportedly the Freedom Gas is...

President Trump Threatens to Sue ‘Any American’ That Doesn’t Vote to Re-Elect Him

Not going to vote for Donald Trump? Consider yourself sued.

McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit It All In There

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell forcefully insisted that the entirety of whatever it is that President Donald Trump calls his penis could fit into any orifice on McConnell's...

Trump Orders ICE Guards Posted at Entrance to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As Disneyland Park opens its new Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge attraction, it's expected to help shatter attendance records. Reportedly, the new theme park experience has garnered the attention of the Trump administration, and this morning the...

Trump Demands Medal of Honor for Visiting Troops in Iraq on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump issued a formal presidential decree demanding that the United States Congress meet immediately for the purpose of conferring upon him the Congressional Medal of Honor. Trump's decree indicates that he believes that he...

Individual-1 Sent Urgent Message To David Dennison, John Barron, Donald Trump, and President of Puerto Rico

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities are reporting that within the last several hours Individual-1 -- the person who FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation believes directed Michael Cohen to commit several felonies to influence the 2016 presidential election -- has...

Trump Wants Statue of Liberty Torch Outfitted With Tear Gas Launcher

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Leading up to the 2018 mid-term election -- one that saw his party lose control of the House of Representatives in quite historic fashion -- President Trump ramped his rhetoric about a "caravan" of migrants coming...

Rick Scott: “Once Republican Votes Are Counted, There’s No Need to Continue Counting”

LAKE NOSFERATU, FLORIDA -- This week, President Donald Trump weighed in via Twitter on two election recounts currently underway in Florida. Mr. Trump's tweet demanded that the recounts currently being tabulated in the governor's race and the race for one of...
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Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be quite devastating for residents of...
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