Satire

Hillary Clinton Circling Mar-A-Lago Shouting “Lock Him up!”

"I told Mr. Trump that quite frankly Ms. Clinton has earned this one, and we won't be doing anything to stop her." - South Florida Police Chief Robert A. Bouie As the whole country awaits word that former President Donald...

I’m Pregnant in Florida. Why Won’t Ron DeSantis Let Me Vote Twice If He’s Pro-Life?

The following editorial was written by Susan Beax-Boosin, a nurse and resident of Lake Bueno Orificio, Florida. Ms. Beaux-Boosin is currently pregnant, and attempting to get permission from the Gov. Ron DeSantis administration to vote twice in the next...

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVII Halftime Show in the Classroom

Singer Rihanna was the marquee star of yesterday's Super Bowl LVII halftime show. During her performance, Rihanna sang a handful of her most popular songs, and also used the opportunity to announce she's pregnant. Many fans of hip-hop and...

DeSantis: NASA Has to Rename Black Holes Because All Holes Matter in Florida

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is on a mission to de-woke his state. During his terms in office, DeSantis has boldly barred Critical Race Theory in elementary through high school classes despite it not being taught in any of them, and...

Trump: China Sent Him Three Balloons as Gifts for Opening Secret Bank Accounts

Hours after former President Trump criticized how long it took President Joe Biden to issue the order to have a Chinese balloon spotted over American airspace shot down, it was revealed that three such incidents occurred occurred under the...

DeSantis Demands Floridians Call February “White People Have History, Too Month”

Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) signed an executive order today that will go into effect on February 1st, and will demand that all Floridians stop calling February "Black History Month." "With a stroke of my mighty pen," DeSantis said while wearing...

Mike Pence Returns Classified Docs and Hunter Biden’s Dick Pics to Proper Authorities

This morning, a courier hired by former Vice President High Priest Mike Pence delivered unmarked envelopes to two different locations. When asked about this on Fox News, Pence explained why he hired the courier. "I told that nice, strapping, hard...

GA Grand Jury Wants to Indict Trump on Charges of Being a Daughter Lusting Sore Loser

A grand jury in Georgia has concluded its work, and according to several sources, is ready to recommend that former, one term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump be indicted and charged with several civil and criminal offenses...

Local Conservative Celebrates Social Justice Warrior Who Used Cancel Culture and Taught CRT

Today, Jethro Bohiggins woke up, packed a wad of Skoal into his lip, and began a live stream of his podcast, "Rantin' Right with Jethro Bohiggins." Unlike every single other day of the year, however, today Jethro's podcast didn't...

Local Domestic Terrorist Really Wants You To See Hunter Biden’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) recently told reporters in the nation's capitol she's "outraged and incensed" more Americans don't seem to understand how vital it is to the Republic that they see Hunter Biden's dick. "Clearly, before...
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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