Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Smoky-Eyed Lying Fuckstick Defends Former Lying Fuckstick Boss in Two ABC Interviews

FUGLY HEIGHTS, ARKANSAS -- In under 70 days, the general public will have their first chance to choose who will lead the country in four years, and both major parties' candidates have campaigns full of surrogates hoping to convince...

Backside of Mount Rushmore Being Prepared for New Trump Bust

To the victors go the spoils, and Mount Rushmore is about to get spoiled, President Donald Trump style.

Trump Misses Blaming Farts on Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While taking a stroll on the grounds of the White House this morning, the subject of farts and farting was weighing heavily on the man we're still letting be president for some reason. First, Trump mentioned that...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Eager for First Meal From Her Home Trough

WASHINGTON, D.C. --  White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced her resignation today, and will be leaving the Donald Trump presidential administration in the coming weeks. President Trump offered the most sincere thanks and genuine well-wishes a lifelong...

Trump Gets Terrible Case of Freedom Gas and Blames Farts On Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump ate "way, way, way too many chilli dogs" this morning while tweeting during his executive time, and as such has come down with a case of Freedom Gas. Reportedly the Freedom Gas is...

Mueller Report Documents Huckabee Sanders’ Daily Diet: A Trough Full of Bullshit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As Americans continue to read and digest the contents of the redacted Mueller Report, new details are emerging seemingly by the hour. One detail that emerged is that Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted to Mueller's...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Watches Emotionally as Childhood Belfry Goes Up In Flames

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While scholars and historians mourn the irreparable damage done to centuries of artwork and craftsmanship during the fire in the cathedral at Notre Dame in Paris, a member of the Trump administration was watching news coverage...

Trump Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For, and the Don Jr. He Didn’t

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative Political Action Conference -- and gave a long-winded, rambling, often times off-script and freewheeling speech that lasted two full hours. CPAC is billed as the...

God Denies Any Collusion With Trump Campaign

HEAVEN -- God has issued a statement distancing herself from the Donald Trump presidential administration. "Um. No. I didn't pick that douche. But LOL to anyone who thinks I would," God's letter states very plainly. "I don't pick presidents as...

Lying Sack Of Shit Working For Obnoxious Asshole Who Spread Racist Rumor For a Decade Has Feelings Too, Apparently

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite being a combative, curt, condescending, tantrum throwing, filibustering, intellectually and literally dishonest sack of shit, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders apparently has feelings, too. Rumors of Huckabee's alleged humanity have floated around for months, but without...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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