Russian Hacking

The Political Garbage Chute

Sources Confirm: President Trump Still Likes Russian Whore Piss And Wants To Fuck His Daughter

James Schlarmann -
President Trump still definitely loves Russian prostitute urine and totally wants to bang his daughter, according to sources close to him.
The Political Garbage Chute

Hillary Clinton Personally Sews and Sends Paul Manafort an Orange Jumpsuit

James Schlarmann -
With FBI special counselor Robert Mueller breathing down his neck, former Trump campaign spox Paul Manafort may welcome gifts from anyone.
The Political Garbage Chute

Trump Explains Secret Meeting With Putin Was ‘Just a Meet Cute’

James Schlarmann -
Nothing nefarious was discussed during Putin and Trump's secret meeting; it was just a random meeting of two people destined to be together.
The Political Garbage Chute

Park Services Report: More People Attended Don Jr./Russia Meeting Than Trump’s Inauguration

James Schlarmann -
A Park Services report estimates that there were more people in the meeting between Don Jr. and the Russian lawyer than his dad's inauguration.
The Political Garbage Chute

Steve Bannon Invites Donald Trump Jr. On Fishing Trip For Just The Two Of Them

James Schlarmann -
After a rough week in the headlines, Donald Trump Jr. gets to spend some quality time with the President of the United States of America on a boat.
The Political Garbage Chute

Putin Disappointed Trump Doesn’t Look Like His Online Dating Pic

James Schlarmann -
When Putin Met Trump...he wasn't all that happy with what he saw. Can't say we blame him.
The Political Garbage Chute

Putin Tosses Trump a Treat After G20 Press Conference

James Schlarmann -
President Trump got a special treat from Vladimir Putin after answering questions about Russian hacking of the 2016 presidential election.
The Political Garbage Chute

Nation’s Top Attorney’s Attorney Hires Attorney to Represent His Attorney’s Attorney

James Schlarmann -
The attorney representing Jeff Sessions' attorney has just hired an attorney for his attorney. Confused yet?
The Political Garbage Chute

Trump Suggests Jared Kushner ‘Go Old School’ and Use Tin Can and String to Reach Moscow

James Schlarmann -
Jared Kushner might be in big, big trouble. But his father-in-law/the President of the United States may have a way to help him out of a jam.
The Political Garbage Chute

Jeff Sessions: ‘White People Can’t Commit Perjury’

James Schlarmann -
Lying or misleading Congress under oath is not perjury if you're white, according to Attorney General Jeff Sessions...probably.
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Latest News

MAGA NewsJames Schlarmann -

George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to his freshman year in the House of Representatives. Before...
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(All Content is Satirical)