Ron DeSantis

DeSantis Offers $5,000 to Any Cop With COVID That Makes Out With Him

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- The Governor of Florida is bound and determined to get police officers unvaccinated against COVID-19 to consider moving to his state. Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q), who keeps assuring his constituents he's not eyeing a 2024 presidential bid,...

DeSantis Orders All Florida High Schoolers to Participate in Unvaccinated Make-Out Parties

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) has issued an ultimatum to every high school student in his state -- make out with someone who has COVID, or else. "With this order, the people of Florida can rest assured that...

DeSantis Signs Law Banning Democracy

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA -- Citing a need for "election security and integrity," Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q) signed a law today banning all forms of democracy. "First of off -- we're not a democracy. We're a democratic republic, which is most...

DeSantis to Write Memoir: “How to Let 33,000 People Die and Still Be Considered a Success”

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) has been taking a victory lap in the media this week, touting the fact that his state's economy seems to be booming, despite the covid-19 pandemic outbreak. DeSantis attributes his state's financial success to...

Rick Scott: “Once Republican Votes Are Counted, There’s No Need to Continue Counting”

LAKE NOSFERATU, FLORIDA -- This week, President Donald Trump weighed in via Twitter on two election recounts currently underway in Florida. Mr. Trump's tweet demanded that the recounts currently being tabulated in the governor's race and the race for one of...
- Advertisement -spot_img

Latest News

Tucker Carlson Lands Exclusive Interview With Putin’s Taint

A visibly excited Tucker Carlson announced on Fox News this morning that he would be flying to Moscow this...
- Advertisement -spot_img