Roe vs Wade

Overturning Roe Doesn’t Go Far Enough. Sperm Must Be Given Full Citizenship.

The following editorial was written by Will Riccilumbo, a Fox News contributing editor and 2020's Shitdick Magazine "Shitdick of The Year." The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Riccilumbo, and not necessarily those of this outlet,...

Jesus Can’t Figure Out Why American Christians Want to Starve Children They Force Into Life

Speaking to reporters at his weekly press conference, Jesus Hubert Christ was asked for his opinions on a leaked Supreme Court opinion indicating the conservative majority is poised to overturn Roe Vs Wade. Christ reiterated that he, as a general...

Will Republican Interns Still Be Able to Get Abortions After the Supreme Court Overturns Roe?

This morning, the Supreme Court told abortion providers in Texas they can continue to challenge the state's 6-week abortion ban, but still let the controversial law stay in place while those legal challenges play out. In tandem with the...

Sexual Predator Poised to Give Rapists More Parental Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, one of America's most famous and successful sexual predators, finds himself in quite a unique position. Should he decide to do so, Kavanaugh can help the other five conservative justices on...

Supreme Court To Carefully Consider Pros, Cons Of Forcing Teens to Have Fathers’ Rape Babies

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the first time in decades, the United States Supreme Court will hear oral arguments this morning in a case that could have a transformative effect on abortion rights in America. Since 1973, every woman living in...

TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For Getting Abortion

SHITLIP, TEXAS -- Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before, but he told us during a recent Skype interview that what he's going through now is "literally Hell on Earth," and he's unsure how it...

Ohio Creates Tampon Cemetery for Grieving Almost Mothers

AHOLE RIVER COUNTY, OHIO -- The State of Ohio has contracted with a city's cemetery to provide burial plots for used tampons. "Here in Ohio we value all life, which is obvious because of our new fetal heartbeat abortion ban,"...

Supreme Court Agrees to Decide if Precum Has Same Rights as Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the country awoke to news that the Supreme Court of the United States had agreed to hear a case out of Mississippi that might lead to the complete gutting of the landmark 1973 Roe vs....

Trump’s Aborted Fetuses to Speak at Pro-Choice Rally

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The aborted fetuses of President Donald J. Trump have announced they will be attending and speaking at a pro-choice rally in the nation's capital over the weekend. When word broke that Trump had decided to become the...

Texas Democrat Authors Bill That Would Sentence Masturbating Men to Death

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Republican lawmakers in the State of Texas are trying to get a bill passed and onto the governor's desk that would criminalize all abortion procedures without any exceptions. Because capital punishment is legal in Texas, it...
- Advertisement -spot_img

Latest News

Jesus Really Loved Sam Smith’s and Kim Petras’ Grammy Performance

Many conservative commentators have been apoplectic about singers Sam Smith and Kim Petras appearance at this past weekend's Grammy...
- Advertisement -spot_img