Pro-Life Republican Against Life Saving Vaccines and Masks

IDIOTSBERG, TENNESSEE -- Sam Bedford has been what he calls a "rock-ribbed, dyed-in-the-wool, Constitutional pro-life conservative Republican" his entire life. Bedford's mom and dad are Republicans, though his maternal grandparents were both Democrats of the FDR vintage. However, for...

Elon Musk’s Company Developing Rescue “Douche Canoes”

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire tech guru and leading Republican PAC donor Elon Musk has announced that he and his Boring Company have decided to push forward with another option for dangerous sea-based rescues of people trapped in...

House Republican Wants Congressional Inquiry Into Whether Hillary ‘Did a Benghazi’ On Trump Tower

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning a congressional Republican told reporters he planned to petition Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) to open a full congressional inquiry into the fire that broke out at Trump Tower this past weekend. As...

Trumper Burns NFL Gear Worth 10 Years of Blue State Supported Welfare Protesting First Amendment

This NFL fan happens to also be an America lovin', gun totin', good, clean, ammo hoarding patriot, and he's sick of people who aren't.

His Anti-Government, Pro-Gun Rhetoric Aside, This Man Condemns ‘Libtard Violence’ of VA Shooting

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- As a member of the First Arkansas Backyard Commando Militia, Clem O'Connell says he knows firsthand "how important, glorious, and necessary" guns are. Clem is the First Master Chief Lieutenant Captain of that militia group, and...

Racist Woman Is Tired Of Being Called Racist For Supporting A Racist For President

A racist woman is really upset at being called a racist for being a racist.

Court Rules Ted Cruz is a Citizen, But Not a Member of the Human Race

A court has declared Ted Cruz a citizen, but not a human one.

5 Reasons I’m Pretty Sure Ted Cruz’s Dick Smells Like Fried Snack Pies

I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz has a thing for fried pies. A gross thing.

Marco Rubio: I Would Bomb More Children Than Cruz

Marco Rubio tells a rally crowd he'd bomb way more kids than Ted Cruz.
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Latest News

Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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