religious right

Sorry Libs. In Real America We Teach The Three R’s: Reagan, Religion, Re-Electing Trump

The following editorial was submitted by right-wing commentator and "school choice advocate" Dustin Pewpsin. The thoughts and opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily those of this outlet. Sometimes I wonder if liberals and conservatives/fascists...

Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the Supreme Court's conservative majority is poised to help roll back abortion rights in America to a time before Roe Vs Wade, 34...

God Sends Venmo Request for $600,000 to Joel Osteen

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway, President and CEO of Holy Trinity, Inc., sent a Venmo request to Joel Osteen this morning, seeking $600,000 from the famous televangelist. At a press conference this morning, Schumway told angelic reporters...

“Let Me Explain Why Rapists Might Be Entitled to $10,000” by Gov. Greg Abbott

The following editorial was written by Gov. Greg Abbott (Taliban-TX), concerning his state's new 6-week abortion ban. Included in the law is a provision that allows private citizens to report people they believe aided or abetted an abortion, and...

Jesus Now Requires a Vaccine Passport to Enter Heaven

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- If you're going to die soon, and if when you do you expect to wind up in Heaven, you better bring your vaccination records with you. At a press conference held from outside the bounds...

God: “No Other Gods Before Me Applies to Flags Too”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway confirmed for afterlife reporters this morning during his weekly press briefing that one of the Ten Commandments "totally applies to flags." "I mean, the commandment is pretty clear and straightforward, so I'm...

Jesus Says It’s Okay to Pray That Trump Dies Before 2024

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Americans who find themselves praying that former President Donald J. Trump dies before he can run for re-enter the political arena and run for office again are not running afoul of Jesus Hubert Christ...

Pat Robertson: God Wants Republicans to ‘Crotch Check’ Student Athletes

The 80+ year old televangelist said Jesus told him personally he needs to protect the "integrity" of sports by feeling up student athletes before their games.

Justice Barrett Gets Permission from Husband to Start First Day on Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All the hearings had been held. All the votes, for and against her confirmation had been cast. Her oaths had been administered, and by this morning Amy Coney Barrett had been sworn-in and officially installed by...

Barrett Promises to Leave Her Religion Out of Legal Opinions as Long as God and Her Husband Say She Can

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's capital is dug in for one hell of a fight. There seems to be very little doubt that Senate Republicans will do everything in their power -- and perhaps some things technically not in...
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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