Gaetz and Jordan Insist Trump Must Have Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For more than a month now, elected Republican loyalists have tried to explain why President Donald Trump actually won November's election, and it has not been an enviable task to do so. For starters, people like Congressmen...

Satirist Beginning to Suspect He May Secretly Be a Prophet

Aspiring satirist Johnathon Flake expressed a growing conviction to friends and colleagues today that what he once mistook for a cynical and inappropriate sense of humor may have actually been the ability to look beyond the veil and into...

Trump Demands Twitter Give Alternative Fact-Checks to Democrat Tweets

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is not pleased at all that Twitter slapped fact-check labels on two of his tweets yesterday, and his outrage is so strong that the normally calm and reticent president has lashed out multiple...

Shortly After Signing Order Declaring All Truth ‘Relative,’ Trump Makes Inappropriate Sexual Comment About It

The truth. Donald Trump doesn't use it. Doesn't know much about it, really. But he does know he absolutely wants to sleep with it now.
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Jesus Really Loved Sam Smith’s and Kim Petras’ Grammy Performance

Many conservative commentators have been apoplectic about singers Sam Smith and Kim Petras appearance at this past weekend's Grammy...
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