Tag: Rand Paul
Rand Paul Wonders If Black Lives Really Matter
WASHINGTON, D.C. — There is only one, single member of the Senate Republican caucus ...
Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand’s Overrated, Overwrought Bootyhole) is ...
Doctors Treating Rand Paul’s Coronavirus With Bootstraps, Thoughts, and Prayers
BOWLING GREEN, CUNTUCKY — This weekend, Senator Rand Paul (R-Kremlin) became the first sitting ...
Susan Rice Stops Robbery, Republicans Worried She Violated Thief’s Right to Privacy
When she accidentally stopped a robbery, did Susan Rice also violate an alleged robber's ...
Rand Paul: Trump Getting Putin’s Permission for Syrian Airstrike ‘Close Enough’ For Him
Many Senate Republicans suddenly find themselves okay with Trump warning Vladimir Putin before asking ...
Sad Libertarian to Investigate Why Candidate No One Voted For is Dropping Out of Race
Rand Paul is quitting and that has this libertarian very upset, and believing in ...
Rand Paul in Iowa, Desperately Flailing Arms at Cameras Covering Donald Trump
Rand Paul is getting desperate; very desperate actually.
Sad Libertarian Doesn’t Get Why His Unpopular Candidate With Unpopular Ideas Was Dropped From Debate
When Rand Paul was kicked off the adult debate stage, that was enough to ...
Strapped for Campaign Cash, Rand Paul Shares Mark Zuckerberg Facebook Status
Rand Paul is hoping Mark Zuckerberg can save his dying campaign.
Sad Libertarian Can’t Figure Out Why His Bottom Polling Candidate Didn’t Get More Debate Time
One libertarian can't figure out why bottom-placing Rand Paul isn't getting more screen time ...
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