Town Trump Supporter Plans Switch From Keystone Light To Ambien For A Better Night’s Racism

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- When Jehtro Bohiggins logged onto Twitter early one morning this week, he says he was "shocked and dismayed" to find that one of his favorite TV shows had been cancelled, and to make matters...

Trump To Award “Oakland Barbecue Lady” Medal Of Freedom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Later this year, President Donald Trump will award the Medal of Freedom to a woman known only as the "Oakland Barbecue Lady" for what he called her "heroic attempts" to "keep her neighborhood park clean" and...

Kanye West Changes His Name To Uncle Tomye Ahead Of New Album Release

LA VALLE DE PRIVILEGIO, CALIFORNIA -- Rapper Kanye West has found himself in quite a unique place with the general public these last few days, and it's all thanks to his support of President Donald Trump. Last week, West tweeted...

Local Mom and Pop Coffee Shop Only Calls Cops On Black Hipsters

BISCUIT HILLS, PENNSYLVANIA -- When Susan Carolsen heard the news about a Starbucks in nearby Philadelphia being the scene of an arrest of two young, unarmed, black males for loitering, she says she shook her head. Last Monday evening,...

Trump Orders The Formation Of New, “ICE-S” Squad For Hispanic or Muslim Deportation Arrests

DAVOS, SWITZERLAND -- While traveling overseas to meet with the world's richest and most elite members of society, President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Air Force One directing the Immigration and Customs Enforcement department to establish a...

Tubetop Lahren Sees White Athlete Kneel During National Anthem, Head Literally Explodes

"Don't they understand it's only going to encourage these uppity urbans to do this more?"

Toni Lahren Hard at Work on List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse

Fox News vapid blonde fuckmuppet contributor Tummy Lahren doesn't like it when people of color have opinions that aren't her opinions.

Steve Bannon Comes Out From Under His Bridge With Box of Personal Effects

It's curtains for Steve Bannon as the White House Chief Strategist. We got a firsthand peek into what was in his box of personal items.

Trump Orders Statue of Confederate General Covfefe, Hero of Bowling Green, Be Left Intact

The president has issued an executive order protecting one statue erected in honor of a confederate general, and may issue more.

Trump Is Shown Pictures of Hitler and Washington, Can’t Tell Them Apart

It's not just Confederate Generals like Stonewall Jackson or Robert E. Lee that Trump gets confused with George Washington.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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