Louie Gohmert Dragged Away By Masked Millennials After Saying “Antifa” 3 Times Into Bathroom Mirror

VALLE DE MORMÓN RACISTACALVO, TEXAS -- According to those with firsthand knowledge of the situation, authorities are still desperately searching for a congressman who apparently was kidnapped by a gang of masked millennials identifying as members of a local...

Tomi Lahren Hard at Work on List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse

LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA -- Right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tammy Lahren has been working diligently and with very little rest on a new list of ways that members of the African American community can protest...

Local MAGA Supporter In Hospital With Burns on Feet After Nike Protest Goes Awry

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and country music singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins is in stable but critical condition with third degree burns on both feet, and he says he doesn't quite know just yet when he'll be released. "Fam,...

Another Benghazi? Obama Reportedly Wore Tan Suit, Ate Burger With Mustard While Watching Gaza Protester Massacre

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Deadly violence that took the lives of over 60 Palestinians attempting to cross an Israeli Gaza border fence in protest of a new U.S. embassy in Jerusalem has birthed a scandal that could embroil a president,...

White Woman Just Wishes Black Man Would Peacefully Request To Not Be Murdered In Some Less Noticeable Way

One white woman understands why NFL players are kneeling and even agrees with their cause, but doesn't like how they're protesting.

Cliven Bundy Offers to Educate NFL Players on the Proper Ways to Protest

When it comes to protesting the federal government, rancher Cliven Bundy thinks he may be able to give NFL players the tips they need.

Toni Lahren Hard at Work on List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse

Fox News vapid blonde fuckmuppet contributor Tummy Lahren doesn't like it when people of color have opinions that aren't her opinions.
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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