prochoice

Oklahoma Man Extradited to Texas After Being Caught Spanking It in Dallas

GILEAD COUNTY, TEXAS -- Officials with the Texas State Sex Fluid and Biomatter Protection Agency are reporting this morning that they have 35-year-old Fred Franklin in custody. Franklin had been wanted in connection to an alleged attempted genocide of millions...

Supreme Court Agrees to Decide if Precum Has Same Rights as Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the country awoke to news that the Supreme Court of the United States had agreed to hear a case out of Mississippi that might lead to the complete gutting of the landmark 1973 Roe vs....

Poll Indicates Majority of Americans Wish Trump’s Mom Had Been Pro-Choice

As the election draws closer, there's little doubt that President Donald Trump believes he's reliant in large part on the votes of conservative evangelical Christians. Despite being a thrice-married man with a long, public history of tawdry sexual affairs...

Poll Says Majority of Americans Approve of Aborting Alabama, Missouri, Georgia, and Ohio

Back in May, four red states adopted new, extremely harsh bans on abortion within their borders. Republican lawmakers in Alabama, Missouri, Georgia, and Ohio each passed new restrictions that didn't allow for rape or incest exceptions and outlawed abortions...

Tennessee State House Passes Law Banning Abortion If Your Mother Was Ever Pregnant

SOEUR PLAISIR VALLEY, TENNESSEE -- Republicans in the Volunteer state have passed a bill through their lower legislative chamber that would outlaw abortions for any woman whose mother had ever been pregnant herself. SB WTF42069 would criminalize abortions performed "on...

Trump Says He Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For and Not Paying For Don Jr’s

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative Political Action Conference -- and gave a long-winded, rambling, often times off-script and freewheeling speech that lasted two full hours. CPAC is billed as the...

Alabama Decriminalizes Rape To Keep More Families Together

PALPATINE FOREST, ALABAMA -- In a truly unforeseen turn of events down in the Yellowhammer State, the Alabama government has decriminalized rape. "In point of fact, all this amendment does is strengthen our abortion ban. Now, we can keep a...

Tennessee Pro-Life Republicans Want to Outlaw All Sex

THEOCRACY MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE -- In the state of Tennessee, pro-life forces are growing tired of other red states getting all the press and headlines about their abortion bans, and Republican lawmakers in the state believe they may have found...

Tennessee Pro-Life Republicans Want to Outlaw All Sex

THEOCRACY MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE -- In the state of Tennessee, pro-life forces are growing tired of other red states getting all the press and headlines about their abortion bans, and Republican lawmakers in the state believe they may have found...

Alabama GOP Wants to Outlaw Scrambled, Fried, or Omelette Eggs

PORT TONTOCOMO UNACAJA DEROCAS, ALABAMA -- In a sleepy Alabama port town, State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R), welcomes our reporter to his favorite local "greasy spoon" diner. "They have the absolute best breakfast here," Thompaulsen says. "Flapjacks, biscuits and gravy,...
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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