press briefings

The Political Garbage Chute

American Farmer Coalition: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Uses So Much Fertilizer It Threatens Crops

James Schlarmann -
The American Farmer Coalition has issued a dire forecast of the nation's crops, literally every one of them. "If Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders doesn't stop using so much fertilizer during her daily press briefings, we fear every crop in...
The Political Garbage Chute

Scaramucci Tells Press He Saw Trump Fire Proton Torpedo Down Shaft Only Two Meters Wide

James Schlarmann -
Anthony Scaramucci is the new White House Communications director, and he's already out in the streets, communicating things about his boss.
The Political Garbage Chute

White House Promises More On-Camera Briefings Once They’re Not Beta Cucks Anymore

James Schlarmann -
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer says that once the administration gets tougher and grows a set, they'll start on-camera pressers again.
The Political Garbage Chute

Spicer Cancels Press Briefings, Will Shout Talking Points From Inside Oval Office Instead

James Schlarmann -
Sean Spicer and the White House have decided that on-camera press briefings are too challenging, and will just shout talking points from the Oval Office.
The Political Garbage Chute

Sean Spicer To Start Using Hooked On Phonics Before Every Press Briefing

James Schlarmann -
A new phonics program has been acquired by the Bannon administration to help Sean Spicer get over his tendency to trip over easy words.
The Political Garbage Chute

Sean Spicer To Undergo Breakthrough Tongue Untying Surgery

James Schlarmann -
Sean Spicer often has problems getting his words out during press briefings, but is all that about to change?
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Latest News

The Political Garbage ChuteJames Schlarmann -

Sinema and Gabbard Form The Desperate to Stay Relevant Party

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Less than twelve hours after announcing that she had left the Democratic Party, Sen. Kyrsten Sinema...
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(All Content is Satirical)