President Trump

Barrett Promises to Leave Her Religion Out of Legal Opinions as Long as God and Her Husband Say She Can

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's capital is dug in for one hell of a fight. There seems to be very little doubt that Senate Republicans will do everything in their power -- and perhaps some things technically not in...

55,000 Dead Americans Agree: It’s Important to Recognize How Mean The Press Is To Trump

As of the time of publication, the United States of America has officially reported 55,564 deaths from the pandemic outbreak of COVID-19, or the novel coronavirus. According to the national archives, the coronavirus death toll now exceeds that of...

Devin Nunes: ‘Only 10,000 Benghazis’ Not Worth Shutting Down Economy Over COVID-19

DIPSHIT, CALIFORNIA -- On September 11th, 2012, a terrorist attack was carried out on a U.S. consular building in Benghazi, Libya. During the attack, four Americans lost their lives, and the attack has become a major talking point and...

President Assures Public Fighting Coronavirus Won’t Keep Him From Trying to Suck His Own Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Donald Trump took to the podium in the White House briefing room for an event that has become a regular occurrence during the pandemic outbreak of the novel coronavirus, sources say he had calming...

Adderall Sponsoring Trump’s Next State of the Union Address

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has reportedly inked a deal with Shire US, Inc, who manufactures the drug Adderall. The terms of the deal have not been fully disclosed, however in exchange for an unspecified investment in the...

Report: Yovanovich’s Are Way Bigger Than Trump’s

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute For Reporting Stuff and Things has issued a new report that estimates Ambassador Marie Yovanovich has "way, way, way, way bigger ones" than President Donald Trump. "Given that Ambassador Yovanovich has literally dodged bullets...

Americans React to Iran’s Leader Saying The White House is ‘Afflicted by Mental Retardation’

Tensions are undeniably flaring between Iran and the Trump administration. Last week, President Trump says he called off a retaliatory strike against Iran -- who has taken credit for downing an American unmanned drone plane -- when he found...

White Nationalist Having Taylor Swift Tattoo Lasered Off

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- White nationalist and pro-Trump poccaster Jethro Bohiggins says he feels "utterly and completely betrayed" since late Sunday afternoon, and he's going to extreme measures to make himself feel better. "I just don't get it! How...

Trump Signs Trade Deal With Nambia To Triple Annual U.S. Covfefe Imports

Everyone knows the world's top exporter of genuine covfefe is Nambia. Now, the Trump administration will bring in more covfefe than ever.

250 Million Americans Show Up at White House Wanting to Change Locks While Trump is Gone

With his first international trip underway, millions of Americans showed up at the White House wanting the locks changed on Trump.
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Mark Meadows Signals Intent to Plead the Filth Before January 6th Committee

Former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, through his attorney, has made the House Select Committee investigating the...
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