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United Airlines Ending Its Frequent Fuckface Miles Program

United Airlines has announced that after careful consideration of the events of the past 48 hours they will be ending their Frequent Fuckface Miles program, effective immediately. The Frequent Fuckface Miles rewards system is a favorite among misanthropic politicians...

Mexico Offers to Pay to Send Ted Cruz Back to Canada

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- While residents of his home state of Texas struggle to keep warm among a crisis of energy production and climate change, Senator Ted Cruz (Q-TX) took himself and his family out of the United States,...
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George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to his freshman year in the House of Representatives. Before...
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