Portland

Can America Ever Return to a Simpler Time With Less White Nationalist Violence and More Demon Semen?

In Kenosha, Wisconsin and Portland, Oregon last week, Americans watched in horror as two separate incidents of extreme, politically-motivated violence took place. In Wisconsin, a 17-year old white nationalist vigilante killed two and seriously wounded another with his AR-15...

Trump Announces Start of “Operation Legendary Fascist Show of Force Against People of Color”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donaldito Trumpolini gave an address to His nation from the White Power House today, announcing alongside Gestapo Generalisimo Guillermo Barr and FBI Director Christopher Wray, that he was authorizing a surge of federal troops into...

Emperor Palpatine Defends Attorney General Vader’s Use of Stormtroopers in Portland

CORUSCANT -- As protests mount throughout the galaxy, Emperor Sheev Palpatine has maintained a public tone of righteousness and self-assurance. The protests have begun to spring up on one planet in particular, Earth, in response to Palpatine's Attorney General...

Hannity, Ingraham, Bongino, Hitler Support Feds’ Crackdown on Peaceful Portland Protesters

In a year already filled with drama and tumult, it seems that 2020 isn't quite done with head-scratching, eye-popping, eyebrow-raising headlines. MORE: Trump Orders EPA Study On Effects Of Electrolytes On Plant Life In Portland, unidentified federal agents have begun a...

Nearly 30,000 People Show Up To Hear Man They Can’t Help Win Election

Almost 30,000 showed up to hear Bernie Sanders speaks recently, too bad none of those people will have a way to show their support for him next November.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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