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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
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U.S. Politics

Pelosi Says Jan. 6th Commission Can Investigate Benghazi So Republicans Support It

"...and if that isn't enough for them, they can throw in Bill Clinton's Oval...
Criminal Justice

South Carolina Lets Death Row Inmates Choose Execution by Spending Five Minutes With Ted Cruz

COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA -- In the Palmetto State, it's become quite difficult for authorities...
Women's Rights

TX Governor Signs Law Affirming Life Begins at Erection

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q-TX) signed a law today that makes seeking...
Criminal Justice

Read Donald Trump’s Full Statement on the New York AG’s Criminal Investigation of His Family

While he can't post it on Twitter himself, former President Donald John "Tiny Hands"...
MAGA News

McConnell Says He’d Oppose January 6th Commission Even If He Weren’t Covered in Trump’s Ball Juice

"When have you ever known Mitch McConnell to be a petty, partisan hack?" WASHINGTON, D.C....
Criminal Justice

New York AG Hires Special Prosecutor to Try Trump Organization Criminal Case

ALBANY, NEW YORK -- The New York Attorney General's office announced last night that...
Economy

Don Jr: ‘Patriots’ Will Stop Taking Unemployment and Get a Job Where They Need Welfare to Survive

During an appearance on Sean Hannity's daily klan rally on the radio, former President...
Criminal Justice

Matt Gaetz Has a Perfectly Reasonable Explanation for Using Venmo to Buy a Fleet of Windowless Vans

LAKE EPSTEIN, FLORIDA -- According to sources, investigators have uncovered a new wrinkle in...
Pew Pew!

Texas: Shooting Self in Dick Surpasses Covid-19 Deaths for First Time Since 2019

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Republicans in the Lonestar State are crowing quite loudly this morning...
Science & Medicine

Darwin Institute Encourages MAGA to Refuse Vaccine and Masks

"The Darwin Institute has always been committed to supporting any endeavor to prove evolution...
MAGA News

Daenerys Targaryen Defends Israel’s Retaliation Against Palestinians

Daenerys Targaryen - Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Mother of...
Criminal Justice

QAnon Shaman and MAGA Bomber Vouch for Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Sanity

Despite all outward appearances and her own words and actions, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)