political satire

Judge Says Bannon May Have Conjugal Visits With Both MTG and Dan Bongino

WASHINGTON, D.C -- A federal judge has granted permission to indicted former White House senior policy adviser Stephen Bannon to have conjugal visits while he awaits trial. Mr. Bannon appeared in court to surrender himself, after being indicted by...

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced plans to hold another MAGA rally, and the venue might not be all that surprising to anyone. "I hereby decree as your once King and Ruler, that I shall...

McEnany: She’ll Put Jan 6 Subpoena on the Mantle Next to Her Autographed Pic of Trump’s Dong

The subpoena she receives from the January 6th select congressional committee will be given a place of "distinction and honor," according to former White House Press Secretary and vapid blonde fuckmuppet Kayleigh McEnany. On Fox News this morning, McEnany acknowledged...

Inspired by Cruz, Next Episode of “Sesame Street” Will Be Brought to You By the Letters “C-U-N-T”

Right from its inception, the educational television show "Sesame Street" has sought to inform and teach young kids about the world around them, as well as to instruct them in basic literacy. In the 1970's, the show helped a...

Starbucks Rolls Out Hanukkah, Kwanza, Church of Satan Holiday Cups

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Coffee purveyor Starbucks announced three new holiday cups will start making their way to stores this week. During the presser, Starbucks acknowledged the outrage among some evangelical Christians display on an annual basis, each time Starbucks' holiday...

Greene Accuses Biden of ‘Using Critical Race Theory’ to Remove “White” from “White Christmas”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) appeared on Steve Bannon's podcast today and floated a fresh conspiracy theory -- Joe Biden wants to "radically alter" a classic holiday song. "Steve, I was talking to my buddy who...

Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s On You”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After a defeat for his party in Virginia, and with another potential loss still in the offing over in New Jersey, alleged Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin is still not committed to passing more of President Joe...

No Matter What, I Back the Blue. Until I Beat Them With a Flagpole During an Insurrection.

The following editorial was submitted by State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R). Because of our long-standing commitment to bringing you, the reader, all sides of any issue, we have agreed to reprint Rep. Thompaulsen's commentary in its entirety. The views...

Experts Weigh-In: Will Your 10 Year Old’s 5G Reception Improve After Getting the COVID-19 Vaccine?

Yesterday, an FDA panel voted unanimously to recommend authorization of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine for children ages 5 to 11 years old. It represents a key milestone in the global pandemic, and offers even more opportunities for life to...
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Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be quite devastating for residents of...
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