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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
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MAGA News

Don Jr: “If Joe’s So Good at Finishing What Daddy Couldn’t, Why Can’t He Make Ivanka Cum?”

STUPID FUCKFACE, FLORIDA -- Taking time out during a golf tournament put on by...
Criminal Justice

Judge Says Bannon May Have Conjugal Visits With Both MTG and Dan Bongino

WASHINGTON, D.C -- A federal judge has granted permission to indicted former White House...
Criminal Justice

Trump Slams Biden for Not ‘Being Strong Enough’ to Encourage Supporters to Hang Harris

While writing his new book, ABC reporter Johnathan Karl got some interesting opinions from...
U.S. Politics

Santa Claus Tells Man It’s Time to Stop Believing in Made Up Things Like Trump Won

GREEN VALLEY, ARKANSAS -- This weekend, St. Nick, otherwise known as Santa Claus, had...
Science & Medicine

Man Sitting on Whoopie Cushion Briefly Worries Boebert’s Staff That Her Skull Had Popped

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Aides and staffers rushed to her side, and ultimately it was...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present their closing arguments,...
Criminal Justice

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced plans to hold...
Pew Pew!

We Asked Doctors and EMTs to Explain How Rittenhouse Could Render First Aid With His AR-15

A key component of accused double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse's defense has been painting the teenaged...
Science & Medicine

Princess Celestia Declares Ivermectin Shortage in the Pony Realm

CANTERLOT, EQUESTRIA --  In an early morning press release issued today, Head of State...
Religion

Satan Offers to Send Emerald Robinson to Med School

HELL -- NewsMax reporter and chief White House correspondent Emerald Robinson was permanently banned...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Fires Attorneys, Says Judge is Doing ‘Good Enough Job’ Without Them

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- In a stunning turn of events, accused double murderer Kyle Rittenhouse...
Conservative Media

McEnany: She’ll Put Jan 6 Subpoena on the Mantle Next to Her Autographed Pic of Trump’s Dong

The subpoena she receives from the January 6th select congressional committee will be given...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)