political memes

Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the Only Things Daddy Can Pull Out Of?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to the situation this afternoon, very confused. Word had just gotten to Ivanka Trump that her father had decided to not participate in the next scheduled...

Lindsey Graham Offering ‘Handies and Half-and-Halfs’ to Campaign Donors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Taint) has not been coy or reticent about describing the dire situation his re-election campaign is in. Facing Democratic challenger Jamie Harrison, Graham is not only sinking in the polls, he's gone...

Republican: Free College Plans Set America on a ‘Dangerous Path’ to Intelligent People

THIRD PINE, OHIO -- Senators Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren both have made the idea of some free college for U.S. citizens major components of their respective pitches for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination. It's a radical and reformative idea...

Coronavirus Qurantines Itself From Ted Cruz

TEXAS -- A spokesperson for the novel coronavirus issued a statement this morning announcing that her client had decided to self-quarantine from Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), in order to protect itself from being "infected with bizarre Christofascism" and hopefully...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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