Twitter has removed tweets that were retweeted by President Donald Trump this morning. One was a retweet of a video that has come under heavy scrutiny in which a woman claiming to be a doctor touts the effectiveness of...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Though America isn't usually known to be a country full of people easily swayed into politicizing issues that would traditionally not be political, the idea of wearing a face mask in public has, in...
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one of the biggest offers of his life to another another billionaire in his same industry, Elon Musk. According to several sources close to Mr. Gates,...
LA MIERDA LIQUIDA, CALIFORNIA -- Getting used to living in the post-coronavirus America has taken some work for 34 year old California resident Mike McMichaelson. He's had to start working from home, which is something he'd always wanted to...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- The United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality almost five years ago, and it's taken that long for God to "clear His backlog of mortal sins punishable by mass death," televangelist Pat...
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- The novel coronavirus woke up to perhaps the best news in its career as an infectious disease: it had been nominated for a major award.
"Good morning! We're here to announce the nominees for the 69th Annual...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Projecting an air of confidence and competence has been a mainstay of President Donald Trump's tenure. Mr. Trump has often boasted to the media and particularly his strong, if not small base of loyal supporters, that...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- "We're goin' on a bear hunt, Daddy," Eric Trump shouted into the phone in his hand, the excitement exploding from his voice.
On the other end of the line, President Donald J. Trump was in...
Around this office, we're big fans of cute little kittens. You could say we find kittens to be just MEOW-velous creatures, and we'd forgive that horrible, horrible fucking pun because that's how much we just simply adore little kittens....
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The president's Senior White Power Adviser has announced that he is completely immune to the novel coronavirus threatening a pandemic outbreak in the United States, at least in its current human mutation. Stephen Miller stood behind...
