pardon

Trump Pardons Lee Harvey Oswald

NARANJO CHINGADOR, CALIFORNIA -- President Donald Trump has not been ashamed to use his presidential pardon powers, and it doesn't look like that will change any time soon. Mr. Trump has already pardoned controversial political conservatives like former Arizona...

Turkey Says “Thanks, But No Thanks” to Trump’s Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president to "pardon" a turkey in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. However, this year the condemned gobbler has issued a statement "passing" on a presidential...

Turkey Passes On Trump’s Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president to "pardon" a turkey in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. However, this year the condemned gobbler has issued a statement "passing" on a presidential...

Trump Orders the Execution of All Thanksgiving Turkeys Pardoned By Obama

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The first thing President Donald Trump did this morning, after he spent his usual, scheduled, five hours of "executive time" in the bathroom with his iPhone and Twitter, was to sit down at the Resolute Desk...

Turkey Passes On Presidential Pardon From Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president to "pardon" a turkey in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. However, this year the condemned gobbler has issued a statement "passing" on a presidential...

Turkey Passes On Pardon From Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president to "pardon" a turkey in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. However, this year the condemned gobbler has issued a statement "passing" on a presidential...

Trump Pardons John Wilkes Booth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just hours after announcing he was going to be issuing a full presidential pardon to convicted felon and right-wing commentator Dinesh D'Souza, President Trump announced he was issuing another pardon to John Wilkes Booth, the man...

Trump Investigating Constitutionality Of Post-Dated Self Pardons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As legal turmoil and chaos swirl around the 45th President of the United States of America, sources within the White House report that he has begun reaching out to various legal scholars, asking them whether if...

Literal Piece Of Shit Considers Challenging Arpaio For AZ Senate Seate

GRIFFIN BEACH, ARIZONA -- Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the 85 year old controversial law enforcement official who was pardoned last year by President Donald Trump, has entered the race for retiring Senator Jeff Flake's (R) seat. Arpaio was convicted last...

Trump Preemptively Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Says He Didn’t Do

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's Russian headaches will not go away. For over a year, allegations of connections between Russia and his campaign, now his administration, have dogged him. After firing FBI Director James Comey, and telling NBC's Lester...
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Smithsonian Apologizes for Escaped Horse Faced Cave Troll’s Disruptions During State of the Union

Last night, one of the Smithsonian's displays came alive and escaped the confines of the museum. Reportedly, the horse...
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