pandemic

Anti-Condom Protesters Storm Porn Set and Demand Actor Be Allowed to Raw Dog Co-Stars

SLAM FERNANDO VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A group of angry protesters, insisting they were there to represent "freedom of medical choice," were escorted forcefully from a pornography film set yesterday. According to authorities at the scene, a violent, angry mob showed...

Why Are People More Willing to Collect Unemployment Than The Slave Wages My Company Offers?

Editor's Note: The following was written by entrepreneur and NRN contributor Dustin Pewpson. The views and opinions expressed by Mr. Pewpson are his own, and do not necessarily reflect those of this outlet, its staff, or ownership. Clearly President Joe...

Essential Worker Not Sure Non-Essential Workers Deserve Living Wage During Pandemic

LOS PARADOXICALES, CALIFORNIA -- On one of her recent lunch breaks during her shift at a local supermarket, 38 year old Kelly Killian told our reporter that she "isn't sure" if non-essential workers deserve a living wage during the...

Dr. Dumbfuck and Nurse Stupid-Ass Prescribe Hydroxychloroquine for Every American

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Dr. Moron T. Dumbfuck and his steady, faithful servant Nurse Billy Q. Stupid-Ass are undeniably two of the most important medical professional in the United States, and they want the American people to consider dumping the...

Trump Wants To Bring Supporters Into COVID-19 Briefings Because ‘They’re Pretty Much Rallies Anyway’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Press Lush Stephanie Grisham is, allegedly, also President Donald Trump's press secretary. One might understand not knowing this fact, given that Ms. Grisham has almost never given a single press briefing since taking over...

Trump Boasts More People Will Die from His ‘Biggest and Best’ Pandemic Than Any Other President’s Pandemic

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For a couple of weeks now, President Donald Trump and his administration have done everything in their power to look both responsive to the threat of a novel coronavirus outbreak in the United States, and also...
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Punxsutawney Phil Tells Kari Lake She’ll Spend Four More Years Not Being Governor

This morning, Punxsutawney Phil, the seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, awoke from his slumber, saw his shadow, and...
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