Jim Jordan Going To Keep Watching Rescued Thai Soccer Players, Just In Case

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The office of Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH SHIT I SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING) has released a statement following the news that all of the twelve of the Thai soccer players and their coach have been safely...

Penn State Inducts Rep. Jim Jordan Into Wrestling Hall of Fame

STATE COLLEGE, PENNSYLVANIA -- The Pennsylvania State University athletics department has announced its 2018 inductees into their wrestling program's hall of fame, and Congressman Jim Jordan is among those on the list, even though he didn't actually wrestle or...

Trump To Rebuild Infrastructure By Sucking Own Dick In Front Of Ohio Construction Workers For An Hour

AIR FORCE ONE -- On his way back to the nation's capital after delivering a long-winded, winding, often times unfocused speech to tout his infrastructure spending plan, President Donald Trump ordered the presidential plane to make an abrupt about...

Ohio Republican Wants to Create Uterine Registry

One Republican says a new proposed law in Ohio that would force women who have abortions or miscarriages to bury or cremate the fetus doesn't go far enough.

Ohio Schools Set to Start Teaching Pull-Out Only Sex Ed Classes

Ohio sex ed classes just a got a whole lot more interesting.

Ohio Judge Vows Not to Grant Divorce to ‘Any Straight A***oles’

An Ohio judge has decided to keep certain people from getting a divorce in his courtroom.
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Hillary Clinton Circling Mar-A-Lago Shouting “Lock Him up!”

"I told Mr. Trump that quite frankly Ms. Clinton has earned this one, and we won't be doing anything...
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