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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
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Pew Pew!

Dana Loesch Can’t Figure Out Why So Many People Hate Her Just Because She Takes Money From Massacre Mongering Monsters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- NRA Spokeswoman Dana Loesch appeared on the panel of CNN's town...
Pew Pew!

Local Breitbart Reader Says Marjory Stoneman Survivors Were Duped By ‘Crisis Corpses’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is a devout reader of Breitbart, and...
Conservative Media

Man Who Thinks He Just Took Excruciatingly Large Dump Surprised By Dinesh D’Souza In His Toilet Bowl

CASTLE GREENS, WISCONSIN -- A local man was quite surprised this morning when, after...
Pew Pew!

Stressed Out, Underpaid, Overworked Adult Volunteers To Brandish Gun Around Students So Teachers Can Keep Teaching

It takes a well-armed village.
Pew Pew!

God to Americans: “Your Kids Are Making It Here Faster Than Your Thoughts And Prayers”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, Larry "God" Schumway held a press conference...
Pew Pew!

Wayne LaPierre Too Busy Scrubbing Blood Off Hands To Equivocate About Gun Violence

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told reporters today that...
Pew Pew!

Gun Enthusiast Can’t Figure Out Why Gasoline Didn’t Put Out His House Fire

SPRINGFIELD, WEST VIRGINIA -- Phillip Grant is known best on Facebook and in libertarian...
Pew Pew!

Hipster Parents Send Kid To School To Designer Bulletproof Vest

GREEN HILLS, NORTH CAROLINA -- As Shannon and Chad Miller get their son Elijah...
Pew Pew!

NRA Exec Just Straight Up Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your Dead Kids, America

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- As he came out of the corporate headquarters of the National...
The Democrats

Obama Issues Sharia Decree Demanding Media Give Him Credit For FBI Confiscating 4,000 Guns

Credit where credit is due.
MAGA News

Trump Supporter Recovering From Honeymoon Groin Injuries After Marrying AR-15

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- On the most recent episode of popular right-wing podcast and YouTube channel...
MAGA News

Trump Tweets Sincere Condolences For Shooting At Columbine

"His base knows he's gonna shoot before aiming, or even really getting the gun out of its holster."
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Latest articles

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)