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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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MAGA News

Leading Graduating Kindergartners, Trump Briefly Forgets Words to Pledge of Allegiance

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump experienced a brief moment of confusion...
Sports

Eagles Will Join Obama For Backyard BBQ

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA -- President Donald Trump has officially disinvited the Philadelphia Eagles football team...
Sports

Confused White Guy Agrees With New NFL National Anthem Policy (VIDEO)

Everyone's favorite Confused White Guy took to the Internet this past week and uploaded...
Sports

Totally Not Racist President Really Glad NFL Anthem Policy Will Hold Black People To Completely Different Standard

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump told reporters from various right-wing news outlets today that...
Economy

Economy Halts As 93% Of Americans Who Don’t Root For Egomaniacal Cheaters Too Hungover To Work After Celebrating Super Bowl LII

Most people are too hungover after watching the Patriots lose the Super Bowl to go to go work.
Conservative Media

Lahren Will Be On Super Bowl LII Field Before Kickoff, Holding Gun To Players’ Heads So They Stand For Anthem

Are you ready for some forced nationalissssssssssssssmmmmmmmm?!
Sports

Trump Orders Washington NFL Team To Offer Chief Wahoo Mascot Job

Keep Professional Sports Racist Again!
Conservative Media

Fox Sending Tomi Lahren To North Korea To Ask Kim Jong Un For Tips On Forced Patriotism

Fox News is shipping its most plucky and screech-a-rific contributor to North Korea so she can pick Un's brain about despotic patriotism.
Conservative Media

Black Man Tying Shoes Sends Tammy Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren are confirming at...
Science & Medicine

Tomi Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, TEXAS -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren...
Business

Papa John’s Promises Ousting John Schnatter As CEO Will Not Make Pizzas “Any Less Shit-Tastic Or Cardboardrific”

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- The man who is the "Papa" of Papa John's pizza will...
Conservative Media

T-Bone Lahren Wants President of Carolinas To Forbid Sale Of Panthers To P-Diddy

SIN CEREBRO, TEXAS -- Timpani Lahren, the feisty blonde conservative commentator and Fox News...
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Latest articles

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

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