national anthem

Lahren: NASA Should Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, TEXAS -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren told a radio host today that she was about to file an official request with the White House, demanding that President Trump issue an "Imperial...

Man Who Fractured Kid’s Skull For ‘Disrespecting’ Anthem to Receive Presidential Medal of Nationalist Psychos

SHITDICK, MONTANA -- A man who beat and fractured a 13-year-old boy's skull because he said the child was "disrespecting" the flag during the national anthem. The man, who is nearly 40, was arrested for assaualt. The man, 39-year-old Curt...

Trump Supporter: America is Terrible and Kaepernick Should Honor America Because It’s Perfect

One conservative man's outrage over Colin Kaepernick not standing for the National Anthem.

Man Tying Shoes Sends Tammy Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren are confirming at the time of publication that she is in stable condition, but still in a rage-induced coma at a Texas hospital, following an incident in which...

Trumper Buys $45,000 Worth In Nike Socks To Burn In Boycott

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Right-wing podcaster and YouTube star Clem O'Connell told his audience today that he racked up tens of thousands of dollars buying Nike brand socks to burn as part of the growing boycott of the athletic wear...

Trump Suggests NFL Players Protest Police Brutality With Tiki Torches, Swastikas, and Weapons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the past three years, the NFL has been grappling with how to placate conservative and liberal fans of football, thanks to some players protesting police brutality against people of color by kneeling for the National...

US Paralympics Team Refuses to Stand During Star Spangled Banner

COLORADO SRPINGS, CO -- A controversy erupted over the weekend when the United States Paralympics Team refused to stand for the National Anthem during their annual fall tryouts. The team, which is known for courage and perseverance, shocked the relatively...

Trump Outraged Triple Crown Winner Justify Didn’t Have Hoof Over Heart During National Anthem

AIR FORCE ONE -- History was made this weekend when Justify became just the 13th horse in history to win the Triple Crown, but not everyone in America was completely thrilled with what transpired at the Belmont Stakes on...

Eagles Will Join Obama For Backyard BBQ

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA -- President Donald Trump has officially disinvited the Philadelphia Eagles football team from a visit to the White House, and the team has accepted an offer to be hosted by a different, more popular president, instead. It has...

Confused White Guy Agrees With New NFL National Anthem Policy (VIDEO)

Everyone's favorite Confused White Guy took to the Internet this past week and uploaded a new video, this time discussing the National Football League's new policy for the National Anthem. Before each NFL game, the players and coaches from each...
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Trump Pleaded the Fifth When Asked By NY AG If He Was Ivanka’s Lover, Father, or Employer

Recently, it was revealed that when he was deposed by the New York Attorney General in a case involving...
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