Tag: Mitch McConnell
NY and CA Offer to Buy Kentucky So They Can Stop Bailing It Out The Rest of the Time
This week, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Moscow) seemed to put the kibosh on ...
Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted ...
Cruz: “Democrats Are Waging a Partisan Attack On Our Partisan Acquittal After our Partisan Trial”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Zodiac Cruz (R-Trump’s Rectal Cavity) lashed out at Congressional Democrats ...
Trump: “They Better Call The Witnesses Who Can Exonerate Me and Who I’m Forbidding to Testify!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An angry President Trump lashed out at Congressional Democrats, farting wildly ...
This 77 Year Old Tortoise Has F_ _ked the Working Class So Much It’s On The Brink of Extinction
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Down in Ecuador, a centenarian Galapagos tortoise named “Diego” is being ...
McConnell: “American Justice is a Fair Trial Where the Jury is Corrupt, Evidence is Hidden, and Witnesses Can’t Testify”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though the impeachment process is laid out clearly in the United ...
God Says He’s Getting a Lot of Prayers About Mitch McConnell Having a Stroke
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — The CEO of Holy Trinity Inc., one of the ...
“I’m Tired of These Baseless Smears on My Patriotism” McConnell Says Drenched in Putin’s Jizz
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A cum soaked Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-The Kremlin) told ...
McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit It All In There
WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader ...
Projections Show U.S. Could Fund Medicare For All For 400 Years Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the findings of an ...
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