Tag: Mitch McConnell
Biden Offers to Let Obama Have First SCOTUS Pick as a “McConnell Mulligan”
Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and former Vice President Joe Biden has, by all accounts, ...
NY and CA Offer to Buy Kentucky So They Can Stop Bailing It Out The Rest of the Time
This week, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Moscow) seemed to put the kibosh on ...
Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted ...
Cruz: “Democrats Are Waging a Partisan Attack On Our Partisan Acquittal After our Partisan Trial”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Zodiac Cruz (R-Trump’s Rectal Cavity) lashed out at Congressional Democrats ...
Trump: “They Better Call The Witnesses Who Can Exonerate Me and Who I’m Forbidding to Testify!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An angry President Trump lashed out at Congressional Democrats, farting wildly ...
This 77 Year Old Tortoise Has F_ _ked the Working Class So Much It’s On The Brink of Extinction
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Down in Ecuador, a centenarian Galapagos tortoise named “Diego” is being ...
McConnell: “American Justice is a Fair Trial Where the Jury is Corrupt, Evidence is Hidden, and Witnesses Can’t Testify”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though the impeachment process is laid out clearly in the United ...
God Says He’s Getting a Lot of Prayers About Mitch McConnell Having a Stroke
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — The CEO of Holy Trinity Inc., one of the ...
“I’m Tired of These Baseless Smears on My Patriotism” McConnell Says Drenched in Putin’s Jizz
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A cum soaked Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-The Kremlin) told ...
McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit It All In There
WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon, Senate Majority Leader ...
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