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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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Senator Comrade Ron Johnsoninski Accuses Hunter Biden of коррупция

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Is Hunter Biden, the son of former Vice President Joe Biden...

Romney’s Got Binders Full of Excuses for Being a Partisan Cocksock

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump appeared to get his wish --...

Mob Storms Local Taco Bell Demanding Mexican Pizzas

FORT PHARDT, INDIANA -- An angry, maksed mob appeared at a local Taco Bell...

Joe Biden Uses Teleprompter to Read the Names of 200,000 Americans Who Died from Covid-19

LAGO DEL CRIMINAL GENOCIDA, FLORIDA -- Today, Joe Biden made a campaign stop in...

Local Witch Casts “ShutTheFuckUpicus Totallus” Curse on JK Rowling

GODRIC'S HOLLOW, LONDON, UK, THE WIZARDING WORLD -- While it's unclear at this time...

Trump Offers to Loan Army’s Bomb Sniffing Dogs to California

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If California wants them, President Donald Trump says they can have...

Newly Discovered Life on Venus Declines Offer to Be Taken to Our Leader

BLEEPBLORP, VENUS -- 2020 has been quite a year. "One for the record books,"...

Man Who Intentionally Wiped Out 200k Americans Outraged Mueller’s Agents Accidentally Wiped Their Phones

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there's one thing we know about Trump supporters, it's that...

Trump Encourages Nation to ‘Never Forget’ 9/11 and ‘Always Forget’ Covid-19

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- 19 years ago today, Al Qaeda operatives boarded four planes and...

Trump: “I Didn’t Want to Panic Everyone About the Virus Until I Knew If It Had Brown Skin!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House in recent hours has trotted out a new...

Smokey Bear’s New Slogan: “Only YOU Give a Shit About Your Baby’s Gender”

In 1944, the United States Forestry Department unveiled their new mascot -- Smokey The...

Trump Says North Carolina Republicans Should Vote Every Day Between Now and Election

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is illegal for anyone to attempt to cast more than...

Latest articles

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...