memes

DNA Test Proves Lahren and McEnany Came From Same Sewage Plant as Coulter and Ingraham

Results from a recently conducted DNA test indicate that four of the most popular female conservative "fire brand" commentators all likely came from the same sewage treatment plant. According to LabTest, Inc., they recently finished testing DNA samples provided by...

Biden Orders “Capitalism” Removed from U.S. Constitution

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The government must remove any and all references to "capitalism" from the United States Constitution by the end of next week, according to a new order just signed by President Joe Biden in the Oval Office...

Man Wants to Make Some Friends Because He’s Sure They’ll Love His “Two Genders” Memes

As soon as he makes a few friends, 43-year-old writer Will Palumbo knows they'll all love his memes. In particular, Will is completely confident his new friends -- as soon as he makes them and connects with the on...

Lindsey Graham Spotted Rushing to White House With UV Light and Colonoscopy Hose

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The frantic, urgent exclamations could be heard throughout the Hill this morning. "Oh sweet molasses titties, we need to make sure our Dear American President fully and completely recovers! Outta my way!" Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the...

Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the Only Things Daddy Can Pull Out Of?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to the situation this afternoon, very confused. Word had just gotten to Ivanka Trump that her father had decided to not participate in the next scheduled...

Did an Antifa Agent Cough on Trump’s Debate Microphone?

How did President Donald Trump contract COVID-19? Will the world ever know? Clearly, the president is the victim of some kind of nefarious plot, because otherwise how is it remotely possible that a 74-year-old obese man who mocked the...

Lindsey Graham Offering ‘Handies and Half-and-Halfs’ to Campaign Donors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Taint) has not been coy or reticent about describing the dire situation his re-election campaign is in. Facing Democratic challenger Jamie Harrison, Graham is not only sinking in the polls, he's gone...

Joe Biden Uses Teleprompter to Read the Names of 200,000 Americans Who Died from Covid-19

LAGO DEL CRIMINAL GENOCIDA, FLORIDA -- Today, Joe Biden made a campaign stop in Tampa Bay, Florida. One of the lines of attack that President Donald Trump and his surrogates often use when trying to criticize Biden is that...

Trump Offers to Loan Army’s Bomb Sniffing Dogs to California

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If California wants them, President Donald Trump says they can have use of the Army's bomb-sniffing dogs to help them "control or reduce their forest fires," he said. ALSO: Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a...

Man Who Intentionally Wiped Out 200k Americans Outraged Mueller’s Agents Accidentally Wiped Their Phones

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there's one thing we know about Trump supporters, it's that part of their core values is the belief that no one in a position of power in the government should have a reason to wipe...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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