Matt Gaetz

Gaez Blames Cancel Culture for His Inability to Bring a Woman to Climax Even Once

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there is one thing Congressman Matt Gaetz loathes, it's sobriety. Another thing he despises is "cancel culture." Though many conservatives have a hard time telling the difference between "cancel culture" and "accountability," the Florida Republican said...

Gaetz: “In America, It’s Three Insurrections and You’re Out, Not One!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For two hours this morning, the House of Representatives debated whether or not President Donald Trump -- who has less than a full week left in office -- should be impeached for inciting the violent riot...

Matt Gaetz Says ‘Trump’s Bootyhole Had the Dewy Essence of Victory’ After Final Debate With Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Matt Gaetz, a Republican from Florida, makes no bones about his support for President Donald Trump. His loyalty is complete, his devotion to his party's de facto leader is full, and his efforts in Congress...

Matt Gaetz Accused of Using Taxpayer Money to Build Bars in His Living Room, Dining Room, Bedroom, Bathroom, and Garage

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL) admitted that he improperly used taxpayer dollars to pay for things like a television studio in his father's home, and paying a speechwriter, which are prohibited by law. Reportedly, he's...

Ron Perlman Offers to Cast Ted Cruz In “Go To Hell, Boy”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Actor Ron Perlman has reportedly reached out to a Republican senator and offered him a part in an upcoming movie. It's unclear at this time whether Perlman's offer to to cast Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump's Rectal...

Trump Tells Gaetz and Nunes to Put On Masks and Gloves Before Licking His Balls

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Congressmen Matt Gaetz (R-Floriduh) and Devin Nunes (R-Stupid as Fuck) arrive at the White House this weekend for what the administration is deeming an "emergency ass kissing, dick sucking, and ball licking" of the president,...

House Judiciary Republicans Give Trump Best “Defense” They Can During Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee offered the best possible "defense" of President Donald Trump that they could this morning. It's being reported that Trump told aides during a break in the committee's impeachment hearing that...

Matt Gaetz Wasn’t Coked-Up During the Impeachment Hearing! Of Course Matt Gaetz Wasn’t Coked-Up During the Impeachment Hearing? WHO TOLD YOU MATT GAETZ WAS...

It doesn't matter how loudly he was talking, despite being mic'd up and the one controlling who speaks when. It doesn't matter how quickly he was talking. It doesn't matter how farcical and nonsensical his tirading, ranting, and raving...
- Advertisement -spot_img

Latest News

Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be quite devastating for residents of...
- Advertisement -spot_img