Matt Gaetz is a tool

Gaetz Turned Down for High School Softball Coaching Job

LAKE EPSTEIN, FLORIDA -- Embattled Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-Neverland Ranch) announced earlier this year that he was considering leaving Congress before his current term is up. That announcement, however, came just hours before the public found out that he...

Gaetz: “Every Fetus Deserves a Fighting Chance to Become My Sex Object In 17 Years”

While the scandal surrounding him may not be showing any signs of subsiding just yet, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) has shown no signs of pulling back from his very public persona. This morning, Rep. Gaetz spoke to a gathering...

Al Franken Offers to Fill-In for Gaetz While He Figures Out That Whole Sex Trafficking Thing

MINNESOTA -- Former Senator Al Franken is reportedly open to taking over embattled Florida Republican Matt Gaetz' congressional seat until his impending legal troubles subside. In a letter sent to Gaetz, Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and Florida's governor and state legislatures,...

Matt Gaetz Accused of Using Taxpayer Money to Build Bars in His Living Room, Dining Room, Bedroom, Bathroom, and Garage

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL) admitted that he improperly used taxpayer dollars to pay for things like a television studio in his father's home, and paying a speechwriter, which are prohibited by law. Reportedly, he's...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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