masks

CDC Says It’s Now Safe to Remove Your Mask In Order Tell Ted Cruz to Fuck Himself

https://youtu.be/11jCNmjSShA ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control has issued the following update to their masking guidance. In the interest of public safety, The Political Garbage Chute has elected to re-print the CDC's memo in full, verbatim, below. Since the beginning of...

Greene Decries ‘Cancel Culture and Fascism’ as She Chucks a Copy of “Maus” Into the Bonfire

INCESTLAND, GEORGIA -- Recently, a school board in Texas gained notoriety when it ordered the graphic novel "Maus" removed from its school libraries, effectively barring it from campus. The book was written by a man whose parents were survivors...

Local Moron Sees Inconvenience as Tyranny

LAKE SKIPPY, TENNESSEE -- Jack "Dipshit" McPhuckphace is known throughout his sleepy town as a moron. In fact, McPhuckphace is such a moron he's won a prize at the state fair each year for the last two decades for...

Greene: Car Seat Laws are ‘Tyranny’ and Parents Should ‘Resist’ Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Cloven-footed freshman Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told a group of maskless, pro-MAGA churchgoers this morning that she believes the "government has gotten too used to bein' all tyrannical and stuff," and she says it's "high...

Boy Calls Child Protective Services After Catching Parents Watching Tucker Carlson

SMITHVILLE, GEORGIA -- Two parents are in custody, and authorities in their small Georgia berg aren't sure exactly what the next stop in the process will be, according to several sources close to the situation. At approximately 8:30pm last...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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