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Marco Rubio
Marco Rubio
U.S. Politics
I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat
Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...
March 15, 2024
MAGA News
Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”
Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....
March 13, 2024
MAGA News
Cruz, Rubio Both Claim to Have Finally ‘Out-Asshole’d Trump in Latest Debate
Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz argue over who was a bigger a-hole than Donald Trump in the last debate.
February 26, 2016
MAGA News
Spike In U.S. Searches for “Canadian National Anthem” Forces Google to Add More Servers
Donald Trump's candidacy is having a ripple effect everywhere.
February 23, 2016
MAGA News
Ted Cruz Would Sign Executive Order Retroactively Deporting All Immigrant Families Ever
Ted Cruz wants every trace of immigrants wiped from the continent.
February 23, 2016
MAGA News
Mitt Romney: ‘I Know a Lot About Losing Elections, and Marco Rubio’s Got It!’
Marco Rubio gets a key endorsement from his party's last, most-successful loser.
February 22, 2016
MAGA News
Donald Trump Offers to ‘Loan Ivanka’ to Ted Cruz for His Next Campaign Video
Ted Cruz decided to pull a commercial with a former softcore porn star, but Trump could ride to his rescue.
February 12, 2016
U.S. Politics
Marco Rubio Daydreams About Every American’s Sex Lives
Marco Rubio really, really cares about America's sexual morality.
February 9, 2016
U.S. Politics
‘Bummed Out’ Rubio Finds Out AFTER Debate That Obama’s Not Running This Time
Marco Rubio finds out too late Obama's not running this time.
February 8, 2016
Women's Rights
Rubio Robot Engineers Program ‘Horrible Thoughts on Rape’ Into His Cerebral Matrix
Marco Rubio's rhetorical programming gets a fundie-approved update.
February 8, 2016
MAGA News
Marco Rubio Accidentally Conjures Beetlejuice
Senator Marco Rubio accidentally brought a menace of a ghost to the realm of the living.
February 8, 2016
MAGA News
Engineers Frantically Adding Five New Talking Points to Marco Rubio’s Programming
Engineers work to cram Marco Rubio's brain full of more talking points.
February 7, 2016
U.S. Politics
Islamic American: Marco Rubio Divides Us By Being a Radical Christian
Marco Rubio says Obama divided the country by visiting a mosque, but this Islamic American says it's Rubio that's dividing us.
February 4, 2016
U.S. Politics
Marco Rubio Admits He Requested Bigger Debate Podium to Hide His War Boner
Marco Rubio asked for a much larger podium for last night's debate for a very personal reason.
January 29, 2016
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Latest articles
U.S. Politics
I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat
Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...
March 15, 2024
MAGA News
Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”
Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....
March 13, 2024
Tech
I’m So Grateful Elon Rescued Twitter from Overly Political Owners So He Can Help Trump Win!
The following editorial was written and submitted by Dustin Pewpsin, a Republican strategist working...
March 6, 2024
U.S. Politics
I’m a Single Issue Voter, and It’s Enabling Right-Wing Authoritarians If I Don’t Get My Way
The following piece was submitted to us by reader Gary Neophite, who describes himself...
February 28, 2024