Marco Rubio

Marco Rubio Will Condemn January 6th as Soon as the Armed Trump Supporter Says He Can

Senator Marco Rubio believes that the events of January 6th are shameful, violent, and deserve to be condemned in the strongest terms possible, which he fully intends to say out loud. Just as soon as the man in a...

Biden Aide Apologizes to Motherfuckers for Inadvertantly Shortening Their Name

For four years now, Republicans have largely told the rest of the country to "get over it" in terms of the tone, tenor, and rhetoric of the most powerful man in the free world. Throughout his tenure as president,...

Trump Still Hasn’t Said When Or If He’ll Return Rubio’s, Cruz’s, and Graham’s Balls

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of his first and only presidential term, Donald Trump has made it a habit to break and shatter norms and precedents whenever possible. It appears that as the days of his presidency wind...

Ghosts of Elijah Cummings and John Lewis Mistake Jar of Mayonnaise for Marco Rubio

THE GREAT BEYOND -- There was a brief but quite ironically hilarious case of mistaken identity reported from the afterlife this morning. Reportedly, two late congressmen, both African Americans and strong champions of civil rights and equality mistook allegedly still-breathing...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted to officially lower the law of America so that it rests just below President Donald Trump. "We're sick and tired of people in the media and...

Rubio Says OJ Was Just Probably Just Kidding Around With His Knife

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While out jogging around town, Senator Marco Rubio was spotted and stopped by some reporters. Senator Rubio graciously agreed to talk to them about a whole host of subjects. Mr. Rubio has recently come under fire...

Literally No One Volunteers To Help Ann Coulter Qualify For Childcare Tax Credit

"The kinds of creatures offering to willingly mate with Coulter are who you'd imagine at a Klan rally butt fucking each other's cousins while they watch Mississippi Burning and root for the cover-up."

GOP ‘Stoked’ Civil Debate Let Viewers See How Disgusting Their Ideas and Not Their Candidates Are

The latest GOP debate gave Republican a chance to showcase how terrible their ideas, and not just their candidates, are.

Marco Rubio Stops by WalMart on the Way Home for Job Application

Marco Rubio is going to need a new job after this November.
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Trump Pleaded the Fifth When Asked By NY AG If He Was Ivanka’s Lover, Father, or Employer

Recently, it was revealed that when he was deposed by the New York Attorney General in a case involving...
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