Marco Rubio

Ghosts of Elijah Cummings and John Lewis Mistake Jar of Mayonnaise for Marco Rubio

THE GREAT BEYOND -- There was a brief but quite ironically hilarious case of mistaken identity reported from the afterlife this morning. Reportedly, two late congressmen, both African Americans and strong champions of civil rights and equality mistook allegedly still-breathing...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted to officially lower the law of America so that it rests just below President Donald Trump. "We're sick and tired of people in the media and...

Literally No One Volunteers To Help Ann Coulter Qualify For Childcare Tax Credit

"The kinds of creatures offering to willingly mate with Coulter are who you'd imagine at a Klan rally butt fucking each other's cousins while they watch Mississippi Burning and root for the cover-up."

GOP ‘Stoked’ Civil Debate Let Viewers See How Disgusting Their Ideas and Not Their Candidates Are

The latest GOP debate gave Republican a chance to showcase how terrible their ideas, and not just their candidates, are.

Marco Rubio Stops by WalMart on the Way Home for Job Application

Marco Rubio is going to need a new job after this November.

Republican Voter ‘Majorly Turned Off’ by Lack of Genital Talk, Booger Eating in Dem Debate

One Republican voter tells us why the lack of genital talk in the Dem Debate made it a total borefest.

POLL: Majority Relieved to Find Out Future President’s Dong is Okay

Donald Trump thankfully cleared up any misconceptions about his penis in the last GOP debate.

Engineers Prepare to Power Down Marco-D2

Republican android Marco Rubio is in his power down sequence.

Marco Rubio Seen in Comedy Cellar, Woodshedding New Trump Material

Marco Rubio tries on the yuks to get the votes.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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