Trump Confident He Could Run the Country From Rikers Island

FART-A-LOT-GO, FLORIDA -- If he had to, former one-term, twice-impeached President Donald J. Trump is confident he could perform his old job duties from within Riker's Island prison. Speaking to radio host and Unevolved Moron Monthly's Cro-Magnon of the Year...

NYC Property Values Have Skyrocketed by 300% Since Trump Announced He Left City

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Last night on Twitter, the President of the United States announced that he had moved his permanent residence from Trump Tower in Manhattan to Mar-a-Lago, his resort in South Florida. In a series of...

Trump Offers President of Manhattan Condolences and Full Assistance of the United States Government

"It's only right that when one of our neighbors needs help, we offer them that help."
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Musk Unsure Whether to Skip Child Support or Twitter Loan Payment This Month

Recently, billionaire hair plug recipient Elon Musk revealed that he believes Twitter has lost about half its value since...
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